Friday, July 8, 2011
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Grace and A Divorce Prayer
Sunday at church a message was given about Grace....
About how even the most distressing circumstances can be overcome through Grace....
How even sinful situations can be healed through Grace
I heard this message and I knew it was for me...
Two days later, I was dealt a very serious and severe blow by my husband....taking to another woman, yet again... I have reason to believe it is serious....
What is going to help me with this situation?
Grace
What is going to ease the knots in my stomach and help me to overcome with dignity?
Grace
What is going to help me to forgive, but yet pick up the pieces of my life and MOVE ON!
Grace
I'm not going to lie. This hurts. But guess what?
Grace.
The Grace of God can help us through anything. The same Amazing Grace that freed us from the bondage of sin, can pick us up in times of despair...
Jesus, please blow your precious wind in my direction..
Please look on me with favor...
Please have mercy on those who have wronged me but help me to
move on
with Grace
Dear Lord, please let me not define my worth according to how others have treated me...
I have been beaten down
But Lord, through it all...
You extend your Grace...
Let me see and Know that Your Love is all I need
Not the selfish, impure love of a man
But let me bask in the perfect, unfailing, all encompassing
beauty of your Light...
For in that Light, there is no sorrow
there is no rejection
In that Light, there is only peace
Let me rest in You, Lord.....
Please look favorably upon my children
Please let me raise them, teaching them to be honorable
and kind
Please let me be a living example of your love
and let that Love infiltrate thier hearts...
Be thier Father, O' Lord
Dear Lord, I know that divorce is never your will
But Lord, I know that people in this life are wicked
and selfish.
I know that goodness and righteousness are not in the hearts of many.
I know that evil prevails in so many lives.
But Lord, I have turned my back to darkness
Dear Lord, let me never make the same mistake again.
Never let me pursue love in man,
let man pursue me in love,
but only those whose heart is pure
and right and good
Only those whose heart beats in time with Yours,
will ever be worthy of my attention
Dear Lord,
Forgive me for the sins of my past.
Dear Lord, Give me your Grace...
About how even the most distressing circumstances can be overcome through Grace....
How even sinful situations can be healed through Grace
I heard this message and I knew it was for me...
Two days later, I was dealt a very serious and severe blow by my husband....taking to another woman, yet again... I have reason to believe it is serious....
What is going to help me with this situation?
Grace
What is going to ease the knots in my stomach and help me to overcome with dignity?
Grace
What is going to help me to forgive, but yet pick up the pieces of my life and MOVE ON!
Grace
I'm not going to lie. This hurts. But guess what?
Grace.
The Grace of God can help us through anything. The same Amazing Grace that freed us from the bondage of sin, can pick us up in times of despair...
Jesus, please blow your precious wind in my direction..
Please look on me with favor...
Please have mercy on those who have wronged me but help me to
move on
with Grace
Dear Lord, please let me not define my worth according to how others have treated me...
I have been beaten down
But Lord, through it all...
You extend your Grace...
Let me see and Know that Your Love is all I need
Not the selfish, impure love of a man
But let me bask in the perfect, unfailing, all encompassing
beauty of your Light...
For in that Light, there is no sorrow
there is no rejection
In that Light, there is only peace
Let me rest in You, Lord.....
Please look favorably upon my children
Please let me raise them, teaching them to be honorable
and kind
Please let me be a living example of your love
and let that Love infiltrate thier hearts...
Be thier Father, O' Lord
Dear Lord, I know that divorce is never your will
But Lord, I know that people in this life are wicked
and selfish.
I know that goodness and righteousness are not in the hearts of many.
I know that evil prevails in so many lives.
But Lord, I have turned my back to darkness
Dear Lord, let me never make the same mistake again.
Never let me pursue love in man,
let man pursue me in love,
but only those whose heart is pure
and right and good
Only those whose heart beats in time with Yours,
will ever be worthy of my attention
Dear Lord,
Forgive me for the sins of my past.
Dear Lord, Give me your Grace...
Sunday, July 3, 2011
The spider
Tonight I saw a spider...
It had huge legs...
I watched how it moved...
It used it's legs like feelers...
I became a little curious about spiders. I guess to most people they seem gross. Not to me.
To me, roaches are disgusting...but not spiders...
I really don't know why
Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't want to pet one or have one crawl on me....
But I like to watch them from a distance..
I think thier intricate webs are fascinating...How they are so ordered and patterned...
It's amazing how we can see God in the small, finite details of things...
Even the web of a spider reveals something..
A beauty and an order..
a pattern that is tailored to fit our life..
Tonight, I was once again in the throes of despair in regards to how I have been treated by my husband...
But I began to sing a song of praise..and I saw the spider
I had a strange thought about the spider...The spider has a mom...I didn't see that spider by accident..
That spider was there to remind me that there is a strange beauty in the unexpected...
Even the smallest things, even though they may seem disgusting, ..
even the smallest things hold life...
It had huge legs...
I watched how it moved...
It used it's legs like feelers...
I became a little curious about spiders. I guess to most people they seem gross. Not to me.
To me, roaches are disgusting...but not spiders...
I really don't know why
Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't want to pet one or have one crawl on me....
But I like to watch them from a distance..
I think thier intricate webs are fascinating...How they are so ordered and patterned...
It's amazing how we can see God in the small, finite details of things...
Even the web of a spider reveals something..
A beauty and an order..
a pattern that is tailored to fit our life..
Tonight, I was once again in the throes of despair in regards to how I have been treated by my husband...
But I began to sing a song of praise..and I saw the spider
I had a strange thought about the spider...The spider has a mom...I didn't see that spider by accident..
That spider was there to remind me that there is a strange beauty in the unexpected...
Even the smallest things, even though they may seem disgusting, ..
even the smallest things hold life...
Saturday, July 2, 2011
To do List for the week
Every week I try to make TO DO lists for Jesus....It reminds me that the world isn't about me....
This is my TO DO list for this week
1. write songs ....yay :)
2. Order teddy bears for nursing home residents....
3. Bring bears to Mrs. Christine...she is going on a mission trip to Nicaragua to an orphanage
4. Mail letter of encouragment to someone
5. Deliver more bears to Harbor House
6. Deliver more baby booties to Pregnancy Resource Center
7. Read about Rachel...(in the Bible)...just curious who I am named after
This is my TO DO list for this week
1. write songs ....yay :)
2. Order teddy bears for nursing home residents....
3. Bring bears to Mrs. Christine...she is going on a mission trip to Nicaragua to an orphanage
4. Mail letter of encouragment to someone
5. Deliver more bears to Harbor House
6. Deliver more baby booties to Pregnancy Resource Center
7. Read about Rachel...(in the Bible)...just curious who I am named after
Blue Rose
The following is a story that my mom forwarded me in an email....I usually delete "forwarded" mail....but I thought that this was really touching....
A Blue Rose
Having four visiting family members, my wife was very busy, so I offered to go to the store for her to get some needed items, which included light bulbs, paper towels, trash bags, detergent and Clorox. So off I went.I scurried around the store, gathered up my goodies and headed for the checkout counter, only to be blocked in the narrow aisle by a young man who appeared to be about sixteen-years-old. I wasn't in a hurry, so I patiently waited for the boy to realize that I was there. This was when he waved his hands excitedly in the air and declared in a loud voice, "Mommy, I'm over here."It was obvious now, he was mentally challenged and also startled as he turned and saw me standing so close to him, waiting to squeeze by. His eyes widened and surprise exploded on his face as I said, "Hey Buddy, what's your name?""My name is Denny and I'm shopping with my mother," he responded proudly."Wow," I said, "that's a cool name; I wish my name was Denny, but my name is Steve.""Steve, like Stevarino?" he asked. "Yes," I answered. "How old are you Denny?""How old am I now, Mommy?" he asked his mother as she slowly came over from the next aisle."You're fifteen-years-old Denny; now be a good boy and let the man pass by."I acknowledged her and continued to talk to Denny for several more minutes about summer, bicycles and school. I watched his brown eyes dance with excitement, because he was the center of someone's attention. He then abruptly turned and headed toward the toy section.Denny's mom had a puzzled look on her face and thanked me for taking the time to talk with her son. She told me that most people wouldn't even look at him, much less talk to him.I told her that it was my pleasure and then I said something I have no idea where it came from, other than by the prompting of the Holy Spirit. I told her that there are plenty of red, yellow, and pink roses in God's Garden; however, "Blue Roses" are very rare and should be appreciated for their beauty and distinctiveness. You see, Denny is a Blue Rose and if someone doesn't stop and smell that rose with their heart and touch that rose with their kindness, then they've missed a blessing from God.She was silent for a second, then with a tear in her eye she asked, "Who are you?"Without thinking I said, "Oh, I'm probably just a dandelion, but I sure love living in God's garden."She reached out, squeezed my hand and said, "God bless you!" and then I had tears in my eyes.May I suggest, the next time you see a BLUE ROSE, don't turn your head and walk off. Take the time to smile and say Hello. Why? Because, by the grace of GOD, this mother or father could be you. This could be your child, grandchild, niece or nephew. What a difference a moment can mean to that person or their family.>From an old dandelion! Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God."People will forget what you said, People will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel!" ANON.If this story blesses you today Please consider sharing it with others.
A Blue Rose
Having four visiting family members, my wife was very busy, so I offered to go to the store for her to get some needed items, which included light bulbs, paper towels, trash bags, detergent and Clorox. So off I went.I scurried around the store, gathered up my goodies and headed for the checkout counter, only to be blocked in the narrow aisle by a young man who appeared to be about sixteen-years-old. I wasn't in a hurry, so I patiently waited for the boy to realize that I was there. This was when he waved his hands excitedly in the air and declared in a loud voice, "Mommy, I'm over here."It was obvious now, he was mentally challenged and also startled as he turned and saw me standing so close to him, waiting to squeeze by. His eyes widened and surprise exploded on his face as I said, "Hey Buddy, what's your name?""My name is Denny and I'm shopping with my mother," he responded proudly."Wow," I said, "that's a cool name; I wish my name was Denny, but my name is Steve.""Steve, like Stevarino?" he asked. "Yes," I answered. "How old are you Denny?""How old am I now, Mommy?" he asked his mother as she slowly came over from the next aisle."You're fifteen-years-old Denny; now be a good boy and let the man pass by."I acknowledged her and continued to talk to Denny for several more minutes about summer, bicycles and school. I watched his brown eyes dance with excitement, because he was the center of someone's attention. He then abruptly turned and headed toward the toy section.Denny's mom had a puzzled look on her face and thanked me for taking the time to talk with her son. She told me that most people wouldn't even look at him, much less talk to him.I told her that it was my pleasure and then I said something I have no idea where it came from, other than by the prompting of the Holy Spirit. I told her that there are plenty of red, yellow, and pink roses in God's Garden; however, "Blue Roses" are very rare and should be appreciated for their beauty and distinctiveness. You see, Denny is a Blue Rose and if someone doesn't stop and smell that rose with their heart and touch that rose with their kindness, then they've missed a blessing from God.She was silent for a second, then with a tear in her eye she asked, "Who are you?"Without thinking I said, "Oh, I'm probably just a dandelion, but I sure love living in God's garden."She reached out, squeezed my hand and said, "God bless you!" and then I had tears in my eyes.May I suggest, the next time you see a BLUE ROSE, don't turn your head and walk off. Take the time to smile and say Hello. Why? Because, by the grace of GOD, this mother or father could be you. This could be your child, grandchild, niece or nephew. What a difference a moment can mean to that person or their family.>From an old dandelion! Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God."People will forget what you said, People will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel!" ANON.If this story blesses you today Please consider sharing it with others.
shatterproof
I came up with an idea tonight...
Every night, I am going to do at least one thing to share His Light...
Every night is His Night Light....
Tonight, I am going to write a letter to a lady that I ran into last week....
When I saw her, I felt an overwhelming need to hug her....and tell her how much Jesus loves her.
She wore a smile, but I could sense an overwhelming despair...
So tonight, with His help, I will write to her...
On another note....
the day didn't start off too well....
I'm still hurt by the course of the last few days....
I'm so tired of being hurt by the same person. It's heart wrenching that people can't see how thier sin affects others.
Lies cut to the core. they hurt beyond belief...I don't know what I would do if I didn't have a hope in Jesus....
In the past, before I found Him...there were days when I didn't want to go on with this life...
I saw myself as a complete failure in every realm..every aspect of life...
I saw the futility of my ways ...I saw wasted effort...I saw so much hurt...I thought that I was nothing but a burden to everyone around me...
But today, thanks to Jesus, I can see things so differently...
Life isn't shatterproof, however..
there are still days when I feel fragile...when it seems as if it wouldn't take much to completely and totally break me. I am not shatterproof....
But it seems that everytime some trial or hurt comes along, His Grace pieces me together in a new way....
I talked to my husband today....there is more drama going on behind the scenes than I care to admit....It is painful.... A long time ago, before I was saved, I thought that I hated my husband for all the things that he did...
But I don't...I guess deep down, we all want someone to care for us..and when that doesn't happen, when the love isn't pure, then we feel let down,
I told my husband that I would like to be friends...I can't promise him anything else right now..
Too much lost trust....but I still care about what happens to him. I'm sad for the path that he has chosen and all I can do is pray for him.
I am amazed tonight at the immensity and vastness of life. How despite all that is going on in my life, God is still God. He is still the Creator..
Every night, I am going to do at least one thing to share His Light...
Every night is His Night Light....
Tonight, I am going to write a letter to a lady that I ran into last week....
When I saw her, I felt an overwhelming need to hug her....and tell her how much Jesus loves her.
She wore a smile, but I could sense an overwhelming despair...
So tonight, with His help, I will write to her...
On another note....
the day didn't start off too well....
I'm still hurt by the course of the last few days....
I'm so tired of being hurt by the same person. It's heart wrenching that people can't see how thier sin affects others.
Lies cut to the core. they hurt beyond belief...I don't know what I would do if I didn't have a hope in Jesus....
In the past, before I found Him...there were days when I didn't want to go on with this life...
I saw myself as a complete failure in every realm..every aspect of life...
I saw the futility of my ways ...I saw wasted effort...I saw so much hurt...I thought that I was nothing but a burden to everyone around me...
But today, thanks to Jesus, I can see things so differently...
Life isn't shatterproof, however..
there are still days when I feel fragile...when it seems as if it wouldn't take much to completely and totally break me. I am not shatterproof....
But it seems that everytime some trial or hurt comes along, His Grace pieces me together in a new way....
I talked to my husband today....there is more drama going on behind the scenes than I care to admit....It is painful.... A long time ago, before I was saved, I thought that I hated my husband for all the things that he did...
But I don't...I guess deep down, we all want someone to care for us..and when that doesn't happen, when the love isn't pure, then we feel let down,
I told my husband that I would like to be friends...I can't promise him anything else right now..
Too much lost trust....but I still care about what happens to him. I'm sad for the path that he has chosen and all I can do is pray for him.
I am amazed tonight at the immensity and vastness of life. How despite all that is going on in my life, God is still God. He is still the Creator..
Friday, July 1, 2011
This past week
this past week....i don't really know what to say about this past week....
I basically need your prayers.....
I found myself glued to the Casey Anthony trial......I don't know why....It's a very interesting case but I found myself slipping into depression....
How any mother could even think about harming her child is completely beyond comprehension. .....The fact that I was actually glued to the television set is another reason I think I was depressed.....
But My God is still there for me....I have a Lot of Light to share...and I know that I can't share it..while I'm vegetating in front of a screen......I think when I get my house....I won't have a television at all.....most news is bad news....
On a postive note, I worked on music this week! :) I'm so excited about finally getting back into music....Jesus spoke to me in church the previous Sunday...He told me thru someone that my writing and singing were going to be anointed! I"m so very happy about that. I knew it all along, but it is always wonderful to have someone confirm something ....
Ok...here's where things get tough...I've been separated for a year....so much drama! I have been through the mud in this marriage! Yesterday, I said a prayer, "Jesus, please show me something." Please......
Well, today He showed me something. I found out that my husband has indeed been talking to another woman.....I don't know if it is "innocent" but in my opinion, married people should have "secret" friends....even if they are separated....It is shady and wrong!
I have dealt with the "secret" friend issue for far too long! I have endured mistrust, lies, you name It...
NO MORE!
I am worth more! I can't spend my life wondering what someone is doing and who he is doing it with....
It's too much...
Thank you Jesus for showing me......
Am I sad? A little....I am hurt........But I am ready to move on and file for divorce....
I don't know what else to do....Adultery is Adultery...lost trust is lost trust...
Our society is so corrupt that this is what it comes down to....
Do I advocate divorce?
NO! I have been financially abused, lied to, cheated on...you name it! And I still believe in working things out! But I asked Jesus to show Me, and He showed me....My husband is talking to another woman....
Oh well,
His Loss...
I have Jesus and He is all I need...
I have two boys. I am young. If I ever do this again...I will find me a Christian man that truly loves Jesus....I will not sleep with anyone again until I am married....
I will find someone who honors God, and then honors me and my children...
Please say some prayers for me....
On another note, I did have a chance to help out with a mission trip....
A friend of mine is going to Nicaragua in March of next year.
She makes pillow case dresses for orphans..
She told me about her experiences at the orpanage..
She said that some children are found at a local dump site...
How sad...I am amazed and hurt by people's cruelty...
I want to cry!
I am sending her some bears to take with her when she goes....
She is sending me a list of items to donate so if anyone is interested in helping out with these children, please email me or message me....
I turned on the news last night....maybe I should just stop watching it altogether...
A four year old boy in Texas ..was choked...and thrown out of his dad's car on the side of the interstate... The little boy was found walking along I-20....thankfully, someone saw him in the dead of night and picked him up..
He was found with 500 shards of cacti stuck in his little body...
His dad, who was later caught by police, said "God made him do it.."
Not the God I know!
UGH!
Why!
What can I do?
Sad, just sad...
Dear Lord,
Cover the innocent with your shield of mercy...
Let them Know your great Love,
Shine your Light upon thier tiny hearts
Let them know that you are there in their midst
Let them know, Lord, that you are thier comforter
in this wicked and corrupt world...
Dear Lord, thank you...
Amen
I basically need your prayers.....
I found myself glued to the Casey Anthony trial......I don't know why....It's a very interesting case but I found myself slipping into depression....
How any mother could even think about harming her child is completely beyond comprehension. .....The fact that I was actually glued to the television set is another reason I think I was depressed.....
But My God is still there for me....I have a Lot of Light to share...and I know that I can't share it..while I'm vegetating in front of a screen......I think when I get my house....I won't have a television at all.....most news is bad news....
On a postive note, I worked on music this week! :) I'm so excited about finally getting back into music....Jesus spoke to me in church the previous Sunday...He told me thru someone that my writing and singing were going to be anointed! I"m so very happy about that. I knew it all along, but it is always wonderful to have someone confirm something ....
Ok...here's where things get tough...I've been separated for a year....so much drama! I have been through the mud in this marriage! Yesterday, I said a prayer, "Jesus, please show me something." Please......
Well, today He showed me something. I found out that my husband has indeed been talking to another woman.....I don't know if it is "innocent" but in my opinion, married people should have "secret" friends....even if they are separated....It is shady and wrong!
I have dealt with the "secret" friend issue for far too long! I have endured mistrust, lies, you name It...
NO MORE!
I am worth more! I can't spend my life wondering what someone is doing and who he is doing it with....
It's too much...
Thank you Jesus for showing me......
Am I sad? A little....I am hurt........But I am ready to move on and file for divorce....
I don't know what else to do....Adultery is Adultery...lost trust is lost trust...
Our society is so corrupt that this is what it comes down to....
Do I advocate divorce?
NO! I have been financially abused, lied to, cheated on...you name it! And I still believe in working things out! But I asked Jesus to show Me, and He showed me....My husband is talking to another woman....
Oh well,
His Loss...
I have Jesus and He is all I need...
I have two boys. I am young. If I ever do this again...I will find me a Christian man that truly loves Jesus....I will not sleep with anyone again until I am married....
I will find someone who honors God, and then honors me and my children...
Please say some prayers for me....
On another note, I did have a chance to help out with a mission trip....
A friend of mine is going to Nicaragua in March of next year.
She makes pillow case dresses for orphans..
She told me about her experiences at the orpanage..
She said that some children are found at a local dump site...
How sad...I am amazed and hurt by people's cruelty...
I want to cry!
I am sending her some bears to take with her when she goes....
She is sending me a list of items to donate so if anyone is interested in helping out with these children, please email me or message me....
I turned on the news last night....maybe I should just stop watching it altogether...
A four year old boy in Texas ..was choked...and thrown out of his dad's car on the side of the interstate... The little boy was found walking along I-20....thankfully, someone saw him in the dead of night and picked him up..
He was found with 500 shards of cacti stuck in his little body...
His dad, who was later caught by police, said "God made him do it.."
Not the God I know!
UGH!
Why!
What can I do?
Sad, just sad...
Dear Lord,
Cover the innocent with your shield of mercy...
Let them Know your great Love,
Shine your Light upon thier tiny hearts
Let them know that you are there in their midst
Let them know, Lord, that you are thier comforter
in this wicked and corrupt world...
Dear Lord, thank you...
Amen
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