My Struggle With Anxiety and Depression Continued

Lately, I have struggled with anxiety and depression more than I care to admit. I often have to pray and pray a lot to simply just get through the day. For anyone who has followed my testimony, I have dealt with a lot of demonic oppression. Satan has stolen entire years from me in the past. Years.

Last night, I decided to watch a video on YouTube by Derek Prince. It was about the power of fasting and prayer. In the video, Derek says that fasting is a way of humbling ourselves before God. The Word says that God resists the proud, but exalts the humble. He then gave numerous examples of fasting in the Bible where lives were changed through fasting and prayer. When Jesus gave the sermon on the mount, He tells us how to fast and how to pray, leading Derek to believe that fasting should be a part of our Christian walk, even though we often neglect it.

After I watched this video, I humbled myself in prayer and I realized some things about myself.
For the past several weeks, I have been making my own plans (things that I want to do for Jesus). I planned on going where I want to go and doing what I want to do. Last night, I realized something simple and yet profound. I was trying to lead Jesus around, but what He actually wanted was for me to simply follow Him. He wants me to trust in His Plan. He wants to lead me. I've been putting my own will before God, and it has been causing me anxiety, defeat, and depression.

I've been afraid of following Jesus. Last night, I asked Him, "Lord where will you lead me?"
And a verse rang out in my mind as clear as day, "I will lead you beside the still waters. I will lead you in green pastures. I will restore your soul. And even in dark places, there will be nothing to fear.

I've been so peaceful since then. Every day, I wake up fighting anxiety, but today I woke up for the first time in a long time, with peace. Do you want to know where God is leading me today? - to the park. with my kids. I haven't left the house much because I had been so down, but today, Jesus is leading me to laugh and have a fun and beautiful day with my children.

If there is a lesson in this, let it be this. Trust the Lord. Trust His Will. Don't make your own plans. Trust in His. Ask Him to lead you. Don't be afraid to follow.

Last night, Jesus led me to these verses....

The Glory of Zion

60 “Arise, shine, for your light has come,
    and the glory of the Lord rises upon you.
2 See, darkness covers the earth
    and thick darkness is over the peoples,
but the Lord rises upon you
    and his glory appears over you.
3 Nations will come to your light,
    and kings to the brightness of your dawn.

4 “Lift up your eyes and look about you:
    All assemble and come to you;
your sons come from afar,
    and your daughters are carried on the hip.
5 Then you will look and be radiant,
    your heart will throb and swell with joy;
the wealth on the seas will be brought to you,
    to you the riches of the nations will come.
6 Herds of camels will cover your land,
    young camels of Midian and Ephah.
And all from Sheba will come,
    bearing gold and incense
    and proclaiming the praise of the Lord.
7 All Kedar’s flocks will be gathered to you,
    the rams of Nebaioth will serve you;
they will be accepted as offerings on my altar,
    and I will adorn my glorious temple.

8 “Who are these that fly along like clouds,
    like doves to their nests?
9 Surely the islands look to me;
    in the lead are the ships of Tarshish,[a]
bringing your children from afar,
    with their silver and gold,
to the honor of the Lord your God,
    the Holy One of Israel,
    for he has endowed you with splendor.

10 “Foreigners will rebuild your walls,
    and their kings will serve you.
Though in anger I struck you,
    in favor I will show you compassion.
11 Your gates will always stand open,
    they will never be shut, day or night,
so that people may bring you the wealth of the nations—
    their kings led in triumphal procession.
12 For the nation or kingdom that will not serve you will perish;
    it will be utterly ruined.

13 “The glory of Lebanon will come to you,
    the juniper, the fir and the cypress together,
to adorn my sanctuary;
    and I will glorify the place for my feet.
14 The children of your oppressors will come bowing before you;
    all who despise you will bow down at your feet
and will call you the City of the Lord,
    Zion of the Holy One of Israel.

15 “Although you have been forsaken and hated,
    with no one traveling through,
I will make you the everlasting pride
    and the joy of all generations.
16 You will drink the milk of nations
    and be nursed at royal breasts.
Then you will know that I, the Lord, am your Savior,
    your Redeemer, the Mighty One of Jacob.
17 Instead of bronze I will bring you gold,
    and silver in place of iron.
Instead of wood I will bring you bronze,
    and iron in place of stones.
I will make peace your governor
    and well-being your ruler.
18 No longer will violence be heard in your land,
    nor ruin or destruction within your borders,
but you will call your walls Salvation
    and your gates Praise.
19 The sun will no more be your light by day,
    nor will the brightness of the moon shine on you,
for the Lord will be your everlasting light,
    and your God will be your glory.
20 Your sun will never set again,
    and your moon will wane no more;
the Lord will be your everlasting light,
    and your days of sorrow will end.
21 Then all your people will be righteous
    and they will possess the land forever.
They are the shoot I have planted,
    the work of my hands,
    for the display of my splendor.
22 The least of you will become a thousand,
    the smallest a mighty nation.
I am the Lord;
    in its time I will do this swiftly.”

The Year of the Lord’s Favor

61 The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
    because the Lord has anointed me
    to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
    to proclaim freedom for the captives
    and release from darkness for the prisoners,[a]
2 to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor
    and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
3     and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
    instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
    instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
    instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
    a planting of the Lord
    for the display of his splendor.

4 They will rebuild the ancient ruins
    and restore the places long devastated;
they will renew the ruined cities
    that have been devastated for generations.
5 Strangers will shepherd your flocks;
    foreigners will work your fields and vineyards.
6 And you will be called priests of the Lord,
    you will be named ministers of our God.
You will feed on the wealth of nations,
    and in their riches you will boast.

7 Instead of your shame
    you will receive a double portion,
and instead of disgrace
    you will rejoice in your inheritance.
And so you will inherit a double portion in your land,
    and everlasting joy will be yours.

8 “For I, the Lord, love justice;
    I hate robbery and wrongdoing.
In my faithfulness I will reward my people
    and make an everlasting covenant with them.
9 Their descendants will be known among the nations
    and their offspring among the peoples.
All who see them will acknowledge
    that they are a people the Lord has blessed.”

10 I delight greatly in the Lord;
    my soul rejoices in my God.
For he has clothed me with garments of salvation
    and arrayed me in a robe of his righteousness,
as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest,
    and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.
11 For as the soil makes the sprout come up
    and a garden causes seeds to grow,
so the Sovereign Lord will make righteousness
    and praise spring up before all nations.

What is Revival?

Many often pray for revival, but what is revival? To me, revival is simple. It is Jesus transforming a life. It is walking in the fruit of the spirit and taking the love of Jesus to the lost, the hurt, and the broken. In Isaiah 58, Jesus tells us that our lives will shine in the darkness when we stand up for the oppressed, when we clothe the naked, feed the hungry. He tells us that our religion is pure when we care for orphans and widows and when we keep ourselves unstained from the world. To me, revival is simply Christ within us being taken to others, giving them hope.

I am including several articles about the topic of revival and many of us have gotten it all wrong. Please read with an open and prayerful heart. I would love to discuss, but only with those who can discuss peacefully.
I hope you read and enjoy these as much as I did.



https://www.fellowshipofthemartyrs.com/articles/59-revival/175-vision-of-true-and-false-revival-patrick-ersig-


https://stevecrosby.org/apostolic-2/the-revival-you-are-praying-for-is-here-your-king-comes-on-a-donkey

https://stevecrosby.org/apostolic-2/is-god-a-revival-genie-rub-with-prayer-get-revival

https://stevecrosby.org/revival-2/2-chronicles-714-revival

https://stevecrosby.org/revival-2/revival-2

https://stevecrosby.org/revival-2/revival-2


https://stevecrosby.org/revival-2/revival-and-prayer

Grab Your Tissues

Peeps, if you get a chance, watch the above video. Grab your tissues. 

Need Prayer or Someone to Listen? My Door is Open

A few years ago, I decided to use my life savings to build my family a house. I prayed about the decision, and felt like Jesus was giving me the ok. However, I made a promise to the Lord that I would use all that I have for good, including my home.

Right now, there are so many people struggling in our little community. People are sick with disease and illness. People are struggling in so many ways.

I want you to know that if you are sick and want someone to lay hands on you and lift you up in prayer, I love you and my door is open.

I want you to know that if you need deliverance from the darkness that afflicts you, I love you and my door is open.

I want you to know that if you are struggling with your faith or simply need an ear to listen,I love you and my door is open.

If you are thinking of suicide and need a light of hope, I love you and my door is open.

Whether you are Baptist or Catholic or Methodist or any denomination, I love you and my door is open.

Whether you are Muslim, Buddhist, or a practicing Wiccan, I love you and my door is open.

If you are struggling with your identity and need an ear to listen, my door is open.

Gay or straight, black or white, I love you and my door is open.

I don't have much to give, but I can simply listen. My door is open.

Matthew 11:28-30 

28 “Come to me, ALL you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Romans Chp. 12 verse 13 Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality. 

14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 

15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 

16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. 

17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 

18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

Don't Give Up

     Often, when I truly start seeking Jesus and even start talking about Jesus, a huge depression comes over me. Yesterday, I fought depression all day long. I could feel a heaviness around me. In the past, I would simply drown out the depression with noise. I would turn on the television or the radio and eventually lose my focus on Christ.

Satan wants us to be burnt out. He wants us to surround ourselves with a battery of constant noise. He wants us in a perpetual state of spiritual confusion. He wants us fearful, anxious, and depressed.

The other day I watched a deliverance video by Derek Prince. Derek Prince claims to have delivered thousands of people from demons, and helped them to walk in freedom. Derek said that at the beginning of his ministry, he would often become overwhelmed with depression. He learned to recognize that his depression was a spiritual attack. He began to rebuke the depression in the name of Jesus, and it left.

Satan wants you to quit. He wants you to give up.

Satan wants you to quit because:

He doesn't want you showing kindness and love to the boy thinking of committing suicide.
He doesn't want you talking about deliverance because people might learn that they can be free of addiction, anger, lust, and unforgiveness.
He doesn't want you walking in the fruits of the spirit.
He doesn't want you walking in peace.
He doesn't want you walking in joy.
He doesn't want you walking in kindness.
He doesn't want you walking in love.
He doesn't want you walking a life free from the bondage of sin. He wants you chained to lies, and theft, and hatred, anger, and greed He wants you chained to impure thoughts. He doesn't want you happy, and he doesn't want you whole.
He wants you believing the lies that you aren't enough. He wants you believing the lies that this walk is not important and that it simply doesn't matter one way or the other.

BuT JESUS...

Jesus wants to transform your life from the inside out. (2 Corinthians 5:17) He wants to free you from your anxiety. (Matthew 6:34)

He longs for you to walk in joy, and peace, and love, and kindness.(Galatians 5:22)He wants you to find joy in giving and in helping others (Matthew 25:40). He wants you free that which has you bound.(John 8:36) He wants your mind transformed and your heart renewed. (Romans 12:2)

The Word says that He rejoices over us with singing. Don't give up. Don't quit. Put on the full armor, and fight.(Ephesians 6:10-18) I can promise that it will all be worth it in the end. (1 Corinthians 2:9)

God still loves you.You are invited to the banquet table.

COME HOME.


If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9

Galatians 5:13-17

13 For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love. 14 For the whole law can be summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.

John 3:16 

16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life

DON'T GIVE UP

Love,

Rachelle

I Thought I Was Dying, My Testimony

Ephesians 6:12

12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

I want to share a testimony with everyone of something that happened to me this week. I don't consider myself much of a "sharer" these days, but I do believe that this post may help someone.

I've dealt with dark spirits since I was a child. I've gone through NUMEROUS things dealing with the demonic. However, through these things, Jesus has shown me many things. He has shown me that We, as Christians, have the authority to tell them to leave. I've learned that the very name of Jesus is powerful against the darkness. I've learned about strongholds. (Things that give demons legal grounds to be in our life, (examples would be addiction, pornography, dealings with the occult, such as astrology, tarot card readings, ouija boards, any type of willful and profuse sin, unforgiveness, anger, gossip and the list goes on and on)

I'm about to get to the story, but first, here's a backstory:

When I was in my late 20's, there was a time when some very dark things started happening to me. I'm not going to go into detail with all of it, but one of the things that happened was I started getting sick. One day, I was cutting an apple, and I had an immense pain in my hand. I couldn't hold the knife. Within a weeks time, I was having immense pain all over my body. My hands, fingers, and toes would go numb. I would have sharp, stabbing pains in my body. I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. Even my brain felt like it was being affected. I felt confused. I found myself in the midst of an anxiety and depresssion like I had never known. My muscles hurt. They twitched. It felt like something extremely heavy was sitting on my chest. My arms would feel like they were being gripped by a vice,and I was short of breath. I truly felt as if I was dying. I found myself in the emergency room one day. I had a CT scan, a full blood workup. They found nothing. I later found myself at the Diagnostic Center in Houston where several more tests were run. Still, the doctors couldn't find anything wrong with me. (I was tested for thyroid issues, rhematoid arthritis, MS, Parkinson's disease, vitamin deficiencies, etc)

The climax of this happened when I was at work one day. I was taking a computer test, and I couldn't focus. I couldn't finish a simple test that I normally would have completed in about 10 minutes. I stood up from the computer, and i went BLIND for about 30 seconds. I will never forget the fear from that moment for as long as I live. That day a friend of mine met me at a neurologist's office where I was prescribed Xanax. I was referred to more doctors. Still, every test came back negative. However, I did find that the Xanax was "helping" me, and the symptoms eventually subsided. However, the next few years would be some of the darkest years in my life.

Fast forward a few years later.... I had decided to go to a church service. The pastor told me that Jesus wanted Joy for my life. A few days, later someone else told me the EXACT same thing. It was on 10/10/10 that I truly gave my heart to Christ. One day, shortly after giving my life to Jesus, I was sitting in my room. I felt an evil presence enter. Immediately, I felt sharp pains in my body; pains that were exactly like what I felt a few years prior. Other "symptoms" started to appear. At this time, Jesus had been showing me some things about deliverance. (The casting out of demons) This time around, I recognized what was going on, and I told the spirits of pain to leave in the name of Jesus, and they left. 

Fast forward about 6 years...to finally get to what happened to me this week. A few years ago, I developed a thyroid condition and was diagnosed with Hashimoto's disease. It is an autoimmune disease where the body attacks the thyroid gland.) For the most part, I truly haven't had many problems related to Hashimoto's disease, aside from some weight gain and occasional fatigue.
However, this past week, I truly thought that I was dying. It began when I started experiencing some of the worst brain fog that I have ever experienced in my life. I felt dizzy, lightheaded. I had a strange feeling, as if I was walking in a dream. It was a very strange feeling; so strange, in fact, that I started having panic attacks. At night, when I would lie down, I would feel my chest shaking. It felt like some sort of internal vibration or motor running throughout my body. I could feel nerves running throughout my body, as if they were alive. I spent a good portion of the week in tears. I was becoming extremely depressed and despondent. Something wasn't right, but I couldn't make heads or tails of anything because my thyroid levels were well within the normal range.

I don't have health insurance, which was another worry. However, in tears and feeling completely defeated, I decided to call my doctor to see about running more tests. It was then, that I remembered my experiences in my late 20's and simply decided to pray about it. "Jesus," I asked, "Please help me. Is this the product of my disease, or is something else going on? Please, just show me."

That night, I was laying in my bed. I felt something come into my room. Immediately, I felt it latch onto my body and I started shaking. I felt something that felt like a dark cloud over my head, and immediately I started feeling the "strange feeling in my head" that I had been feeling on and off all week. It was then, that I KNEW that what I had been experienced was something spiritual in nature, rather than something physical.

Don't get me wrong; I am a firm believer in science. However, I have dealt with things that many people would scoff at. I have seen the reality of Jesus, His Word, and I have seen that there is a darkness out there that longs to steal, kill,and destroy. ( John 10:10 )

It takes a lot of courage to type things like this. There are going to people who will laugh, scorn, and mock me. There will be those who think that these things are "all in my head" or the product of my imagination. But, I write on because I know that there is going to be the ONE person who knows that what I say is true.

If you are sick or suffering or having physical symptoms that you can't explain, or even ones that you can.( I wrote mine off as being a part of my Hashimotos for nearly a month)..I encourage you to simply talk to Jesus. Seek Him and ask Him if what you are going through is the result of demonic affliction. Wait for His answer. If this is something that you are dealing with, I encourage you to seek deliverance. If you need me to pray with you, I am willing. My email address is rachelle_brister@yahoo.com.

Also, for a video on how to be delivered from demons,(anger, lust, addiction, etc) please click HERE.

I truly believe that there are legitimate diseases and physical problems out there, but I also believe that there are scores of people who are suffering needlessly. The Bible is rife with stories about people who were afflicted by demons, and I truly don't think that much has changed. I think that now, we just slap a name on it and prescribe medication for something that we could be free from.

So reader, whoever you are, Jesus wants you to be free. He wants JOY for your life. Also, please know that after much intercession, and prayer, I am no longer having any of the symptoms that were keeping me down. They are ALL gone!
Love,
Rachelle

The Boy with a Demon
(Mark 9:14-29; Luke 9:37-42; Luke 17:5-10)

14When they came to the crowd, a man came up to Jesus and knelt before Him. 15“Lord, have mercy on my son,” he said. “He has seizures and is suffering terribly. He often falls into the fire or into the water. 16I brought him to Your disciples, but they could not heal him.”

17“O unbelieving and perverse generation!” Jesus replied. “How long must I remain with you? How long must I put up with you? Bring the boy here to Me.” 18Then Jesus rebuked the demon, and it came out of the boy, and he was healed from that moment.

19Afterward the disciples came to Jesus privately and asked, “Why couldn’t we drive it out?”

20“Because you have so little faith,” He answered. “For truly I tell you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.