Francis Chan, Lukewarm and Loving It

Tonight, I had the opportunity to watch a YouTube video featuring Francis Chan. The video is entitled, LukeWarm and Loving It.. It is a messsage to the Western Church. It is close to 40 minutes long, but I strongly encourage you to watch it in it's entirety. Francis Chan speaks the truth and by the time you are finished watching this video, you will probably want to rush to give more for the sake of the Kingdom. If you struggle with being lukewarm and truly desire to be on fire for Jesus, I encourage you to watch this video. Chan has a way of delivering hard messages in brilliant form. He is truly an inspiration and a man of God.

To the Church in Laodicea

¹⁴ “To the angel of the church in Laodicea write:

These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God’s creation. ¹⁵ I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! ¹⁶ So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. ¹⁷ You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. ¹⁸ I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see.

¹⁹ Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent. ²⁰ Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.
²¹ To the one who is victorious, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I was victorious and sat down with my Father on his throne. ²² Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches.” Revelation, Chapter 3

Demonic Torment

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.  Ephesians 6:12


I've gone through a lot of strange things in my life. If I were to detail every demonic experience that I've ever had, I could probably talk for at least every minute of an entire day. Maybe more.
However, the purpose of my blog is not to detail my "strange" experiences. No one really cares that about the brick heavy crushing spirits of darkness that sometimes settle over my body. Or the unseen hands that creep along my neck. Or even the time that I felt the cold enter the room and heard something unseen speak in a foreign language or even the fact that I spoke with a girl in the not too distant past who told me that she had experienced the exact same thing.

I could sit here all day and talk about how the demonic can physically affect the human body. I could tell you of the sharp and piercing pains in various places or I could tell you about the day I went blind for about thirty seconds. I could tell you about what hell sounds like..(because I've heard it) Or I can tell you about the vison that I had while in the prescene of a heavy darkness. I could tell of you of shaking beds and other such strange things, but I know that it may mean absolutely nothing to you.

I"m not writing this to attempt to scare anyone. That is not my purpose. Truthfully, I don't want to even write this post..AT ALL.

There are people out there who will think that I am strange and then there are those who will try to scientifically explain every single thing that I have seen, heard, and experienced.
Anyhow, the reason I am writing this is not to bring attention to the forces of darkness (  verse)
but to give credit to God for showing me things and being my helper and Deliverer during these times.

I have literally sat in awe at God for the things He has done for me through every horrible experience.

Demonic torment is in the Bible.  Recall the story of the woman who went to Jesus and begged him to set her daughter free from the plaguing darkness of demonic oppression. I will post the story at the end of this blog.

IF people could  truly grasp the horrors of the darkness, then perhaps many would rethink their choices, their unforgiveness, and their greed. People would literally fall upon their knees if they could understand what I have faced. But through it all, I have learned one thing. God is good.

Today, I briefly want to cover the subject of fasting and prayer. I've talked about it before. As a matter of fact, if you regularly read my blog, you have heard me talk about a lot of this subject matter already.

But, I write because I am in complete awe of God right now.

During the course of the past few weeks, I have felt and experienced the demonic in a various ways. When this happens, a lot of times, I feel led to fast and pray. I can't really explain what fasting is exactly or why it seems to work..but I know that everytime I fast and pray..God honors the act . I feel Him  close to me . 

There have been days when I have felt demonic oppression. I have fasted and cried out to God for help. I have had days when I  have had to rely upon Him completely. But each time, He came through. There have been weeks when I have felt demonic oppression, but the very first night of fasting and prayer, I am completely free.
God honors the things that we give up for Him. He honors it when we trust Him.
Through all of these experiences, I have learned one thing. I am nothing. When you are plagued by forces that you can't understand or comprehend, then you are forced to look to God. And it has been through the searching, that I have seen just how great and wonderful and powerful He is.

It's humbling.

So many will never acknowlege the spirit world. Maybe some people don't have to. Maybe some people are just blessed and able to love without understanding the dynamics and the workings of the unseen. I love how many people can believe in something without ever having the experience. But everything that I have seen and experienced in my life points in one direction, and that direction points me toward God. He is real and He is good. Demons are real. They are horrific. It sounds simple, and yet to fully grasp the fact that we live in a world of the unseen is really a big  deal. It changes life as we know it.

There are days when I feel like an anomoly. But I have come across so many others who have gone through the same things who recognize the darkness for what it is.. I am grateful that these experiences have taught me humility. I recognize that I am nothing in light of Jesus. Today, I kept thinking about how we carve out names for ourselves. I thought that I simply want to be a reflection of Jesus. Even George Muller wasn't known for great acts. He simply let Christ shine through his life. He had a story that didn't reveal himself, but rather a story that told of God's provision and great love.

I am grateful for those who speak Jesus to me. I am grateful for His hand that lovingly leads us out of torment and into beauty.

I am glad for the Power of His Name.

There is an experience that I had a few years ago. I think I shared it on my blog, but it is only fitting that I share it again.

I was experiencing a heavy amount of demonic torment. So, I fasted and prayed that God would deliver me. A few days later, during my fast..Jesus showed me something. My little boy was acting very unruly. He wouldn't listen to a single word that I said. He was being defiant. Jesus showed me that the demonic will try to run us over and wear us down, but we must stand our ground.  As my tot was running around in a state of chaos, I knew that I had to take authority. Christ showed me that it is the same with the darkness. As Christians, we have authority over the darkness. We can speak His name and tell the evil spirits to leave. If we are persistant and don't give up, they will realize that they are unable to trample us.

That night, I had a horrible dream that didn't even seem like a dream. I felt as if something was holding me down. I couldn't move, nor  could I speak. But.. in the dream, I was not afraid. I stood my ground. I spoke the name of Jesus..There was darkness all around me, but where His name was spoken, there was a light that they could not touch. It was as if they had to part from my lips at the mention of His name. There was a crippling heaviness. It took all of my will to crawl to my knees. When I finally crawled to my knees, I began to laugh because I knew that "no weapon formed against me would prosper." I knew that the Power of Christ was far greater. I have come to love the verse, "For He has not given us a spirit of fear, but of Power, of Love, and of a sound mind." When I woke up, I felt a very pervasive and heavy darkness in my room. I literally felt it approach me. It could sense that I was fearless. I told it to leave and I felt this evil leave my room. There is a verse in the Bible that  states, "For He has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, of love, and of a sound mind."  So many times in my life I have walked in depression and fear. I have listened to the lies of the darkness. I have heard their threats, but, when we give our lives unto Jesus, His voice can drown out the darkness when we will turn our ears toward Him. He is our Deliverer and where the enemy will only steak, kill, and destroy, He comes that we might have life and have it to the full.

The other day, I was watching television and I came across a show that held my interest. It was on a Christian television channel. Keep in mind I don't promote Christian television. (There are too many trying to sell the gospel and distorting the name of Christ in doing so) But...on this particular day, I was flipping and something caught my attention. It was a show about people who have experienced death. Some gave details of Heaven and one man gave his testimony of his life involved in witchcraft. He began to tell of the demonic  torment that he endured for a few months, even after he became a Christian. Keep in mind, I know that I try not to put to much faith in other people's experience. Truthfully, I have learned that, as humans we place too much emphasis on "the experience" of Chrisitianity and ignore the needs of those around us..  forgetting that when we care for "the least of these" we are caring for Christ himself.. ( at least that is my understanding, please tell me if I am wrong)

anyhow, as I listened to this man's experience, I was captivated because I had experienced so many similiar things. He spoke of the feeling of being held down in his sleep, unable to speak, unable to move. He spoke of his bed physially shaking as something dark entered his room.
One thing that he spoke about was a dream that he had. He dreamt that he was on a train and taken to hell. He said that the dream was unlike any other that he had ever had. He felt the demonic grasping and wanting to take his very life. But, he said, as the vultures gathered, he saw a Cross appear. And He knew that Christ was with him. He saw the power of the Cross could lead him out of the darkness. The man awoke and asked Jesus why he was experiencing such horrific things. The man said that Jesus spoke to him and said, "I allowed this simply because I wanted to know that you love me. I wanted to see if you would trust me." The man said that soon after the tormenting spirits stopped.

Another story that the man told is worth noting. The man grew up in an atmosphere rife with witchcraft. He said that his spirit would often leave his body at night in order to do harm and cast spells upon others. He said that he would see people praying for their neighborhoods on street corners and he wouldn't be able to touch those places. Now, I know this man's story sounds strange. I can't say that I relate to any sort of "out of body experience" but I will say, that I have experienced things that reason will never be able to touch. Through it , I have learned the power of God.

I remember when I first came to Christ I was still experiencing a lot of demonic torment. One Sunday I went to church. My pastor said that he had a great message prepared, but right before the service, Jesus told him to preach on the subject of discipleship. He said that he really didn't want to preach on that subject, but he felt that it was important and it was something that someone needed to hear. As he began to preach, I knew that he was speaking to me. He gave the message, "many are called, but few are chosen." I claimed those words as my own. That night, the demonic torment began. I could sense the such a pervasive evil that I began to have visions of hell. I saw a man writing in torment and skin falling off his face as his face contorted. I heard the screams of a multitude of people. I remembered the message of my pastor, and I knew that the Bible was true. I knew that I had been called unto discipleship and with that, came authority over the darkness. So, for the first time in my entire life of demonic deception, depression, torment, and bodily oppression, I told the enemy to leave. I said it with of voice of someone who was sick of evil. I said it with the voice of someone disgusted with years of wasted life. I said it with the voice angry at all of the voices that I heard in torment, at the vison of immense pain and suffering.

At that moment, when I took authority, the darkness left my room. I have struggled much since then, but I find that fasting and prayer help me often.  Finding a voice helps me.. Fighting, and at times, letting God fight for me. 

If you are facing demonic torment, do not give up! Never quit. Know who you are in Christ. Seek Him diligently. He will help you. Keep fighting. Fast and pray. Christ will lead you into victory if you only Trust Him.

One night Jesus showed me something about Deliverance. My three year old son dropped his toy soldier in the bathtub water. Immediately, he tried to grab him because it was if he was afraid that the soldier might drown.. I could see his fear and concern, so I reached my hand into the bath water and picked up the soldier. God spoke to me right then very plainly. He said, "Rachelle, deliverance from evil is me, picking up the drowning soldier, and giving him his life back."

There have been  times through all of my torment that I have used religious relics. I hope this next part doesn't offend anyone, but I have tried holy water to ward of the demonic. It didn't work. I was told by a religious man, who had experience in this realm, that if I ignore the devil that he will simply go away. For many years I did just that. And the torment stopped, but it is only because my life was in the clutches of the enemy.
The Bible does not tell us to ignore the darkness. The Bible tells us to put on our armour and fight. It tells us that we are in a race and that we have to endure if we want to make it the finish line.

I plan on making it to the finish line. That is why I write, even though there will be scores of people who shout that I am crazy. Or insane. I write even though I may offend someone. If I offend, it is not out of a spirit of hatred but out of a spirit of love.

Back to religious relics. The one thing that the enemy fears is the Cross. Not the wooden symbol of a place where Jesus died. The enemy fears a life that begins to look like Jesus. The enemy fears the spirit of Christ that lives and dwells inside someone, because, in that, there is an a power. There is understanding. There is wisdom, and there is a beautiful, unexplainable love for people that you may never even met. Or never even seen. There is concern for those around you. Such is the Spirit of Jesus, and that is what the enemy fears the most.


During these times Jesus has given me many dreams. Once he appeared to me in a dream and simply hugged me. His face was glowing and his arms were gentle and strong.

another time, Jesus asked me to give away some of my possessions. So I did. That night, I had a dream that Jesus was standing next to a glowing ball of light. It was white and gold and it burned like a beatufiul fire. He was standing in a place that seemed to go on forever and he was pointing at the light, as if to show it to me.
I remember feeling an immense peace and joy in the prescence of that perfect light.
The next day, I asked Jesus what the dream meant. He said that, as Christians, each of us has that light within us, and it is OUR DUTY to share it with others.
That day I was reading the Bible and I came across the verse, "For God is a Light and, In Him, there is no darkness at all."
I also think of the verse that says that we should never hide our light under a bushel, but shine it for the world to see.  The one purpose of the enemy is to drown out the light and shroud the world in darkness. But we have a choice to either let it shine or be defeated.




And behold, a Canaanite woman from that region came out and was crying, “Have mercy on me, O Lord, Son of David; my daughter is severely oppressed by a demon.”But he did not answer her a word. And his disciples came and begged him, saying, “Send her away, for she is crying out after us.”But He answered and said, "I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel."

But she came and knelt before him, saying, “Lord, help me.” And he answered, “It is not right to take the children’s bread and throw it to the dogs.” She said, “Yes, Lord, yet even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters’ table.” Then Jesus answered her, “O woman, great is your faith! Be it done for you as you desire.” And her daughter was healed instantly.

And he appointed twelve (whom he also named apostles) so that they might be with him and he might send them out to preach and have authority to cast out demons. ( Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever. If he called disciples then, he still does the same thing today. Is HE calling you toward discipleship?

Into the Wild

I watched the movie, Into the Wild and fell in love with true life story of Christopher McCanless. He was a young man who had been deeply affected by the materialism and rocky relationship of his parents.  He graduated college, but realized that his goal was not the pursuit of wealth, but the pursuit of Truth. So, he abandoned his car and gave away his entire life savings to charity. He found beauty in nature, lived the life of a vagabond, and made many friends along the way. At the end of his life, he found forgiveness for his parents  and gave God the credit for his happy life. 

 I would like to share a few things I learned while watching this movie..

As I watched, I couldn't help but contrast Chris' life to what is being taught in our churches today. I found it ironic that a man with seemingly everything and the world at his fingertips, realized that truth and beauty don't lie in our things.. I saw him, essentially being content with the very few things he owned. I couldn't help but contrast the act of his generosity to the greedy doctrine of the prosperity gospel that tells us that God wants us to have more and more stuff.  I thought of the verse written by the apostle Paul that tells us to simply be happy and content with what we have.. I thought of the verses that tell us not to covet.

I found it beautiful that Chris lived a full life and it wasn't in a way that is considered a "societal" norm. He broke the mold and simply sought out the beauty of experience..and through it all he found God.  One of the last things written in his journal before he died was that happiness is only real when it is shared. I loved how he had underlined a text that says tells us to love our neighbors.


While I was watching the movie, God reminded me how our the pain that we experience is often grace and mercy in disguise. In the movie, we see Chris' parents as very angry and covetous. They placed value on wealth, and Chris was affected when he found out that his was married and left his wife to be with his mom. It was a huge family secret, and he felt as if his life was shrouded in lies.

 When Chris went missing, his parents heart softened. Their weakness in life, when viewed through a spiritual lens, was in essense a strength. So often, we face hardships and trail, but I believe that they are all for a purpose. However, sometimes we find redemption in our hardships and, in redemption, there is life eternal.

The Bible says that "All things work together for the Good" for those who are in Christ Jesus..
The other day I watched a video about sheep. Keep in mind that Jesus is called the Good Shepherd.
I learned that sheep are dumb animals. They are mindless creatures that cannot survive without some sort of guidance. They wander from the herd despite the threat from wild animals and certain death.
But a good shepherd, who loves his sheep, will actually have to physically break the legs of the sheep who stray. In that way, they will never leave his side again. and thought the pain is temporary, what the shepherd has actually done is save the life of the creature.


One day, all of our pain will make sense,,

Another thing I noted is how Chris would make friends with seemingly everyone he met. I loved how he made friends with unlikely characters. How often do we sit in padded pews and judge others with glasses of condemnation. Chris seemed to bring out the beauty in others, and that is part of what I loved about this movie. I couldn't help but wonder what our lives would look like if we threw caution to the wind and went wherever it is that Christ led..
Maybe it would be a remote village in Africa, feeding the hungry..or maybe it would be a cup of coffee on the neighbor's porch..
Maybe God would lead you into a dark nursing home with bouquets of flowers. Maybe your sole mission in life is to make others happy with the light within you. The point that I am trying to make is that when Christ leads and directs our lives..there may be harship and difficulty, but ulitmately there is adventure and beatuy. Christ gives us the ability to appreciate the light and to realize that freedom is not in sin but in service and in love.  " For you have been called to Freedom brothers, not freedom to fall back into your sinful natures, but to serve one another in love."

Today, I reflect on years of tears, and I am happy to know that no matter what life may bring, there is still something to be appreciated. God is good.

anyhow, here are some quotes from the movie. Some might sound a little philosophical. I don't consider myself to be on a quest for "the meaning of life." People waste too much time in thought and we put too little time into loving one another, reading the Word, seeking Christ, and doing what the Word says..

But, I find some degree of truth in these quotes. I can't help but think that Christ wants to pull us out of our comfort zones, and I admire Chris McCanless for his willingless to see past the lure of materialism and delve out of the safety net of day to day living.

Anywho..here are the quotes :)

“Some people feel like they don't deserve love. They walk away quietly into empty spaces, trying to close the gaps of the past.”

“

When you forgive, you love. And when you love, God’s light shines upon you.”

“

I read somewhere... how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong, but to feel strong... to measure yourself at least once.”

“Sometimes he tried too hard to make sense of the world, to figure out why people were bad to each other so often.”

“At long last he was unencumbered, emancipated from the stifling world of his parents and peers, a world of abstraction and security and material excess, a world in which he felt grievously cut off from the raw throb of existence.”

It is the experiences, the memories, the great triumphant joy of living to the fullest extent in which real meaning is found. God it's great to be alive! Thank you. Thank you.”

On July 2, McCandless finished reading Tolstoy's "Family Happiness", having marked several passages that moved him:
"He was right in saying that the only certain happiness in life is to live for others...

I have lived through much, and now I think I have found what is needed for happiness. A quiet secluded life in the country, with the possibility of being useful to people to whom it is easy to do good, and who are not accustomed to have it done to them; then work which one hopes may be of some use; then rest, nature, books , music, love for one's neighbor - such is my idea of happiness. And then, on top of all that, you for a mate, and children, perhaps - what more can the heart of a man desire?"'

“I understood what he was doing, that he had spent four years fulfilling the absurd and tedious duty of graduating from college and now he was emancipated from that world of abstraction, false security, parents, and material excess.”

“So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more dangerous to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.”

You are wrong if you think Joy emanates only or principally from human relationships. God has placed it all around us. It is in everything and anything we might experience. We just have to have the courage to turn against our habitual lifestyle and engage in unconventional living.

My point is that you do not need me or anyone else around to bring this new kind of light in your life. It is simply waiting out there for you to grasp it, and all you have to do is reach for it. The only person you are fighting is yourself and your stubbornness to engage in new circumstances.”

This week in the Appalachian Mountains..and some other cool stuff

I just got back from a two week vacation.
All I can say is that every moment of every day was full. Dave took me to see Zero Dark Thirty. It was good, but depressing.
I saw one of my best friends get married. I had the chance to laugh with old friends.  I took the boys to play Putt Putt. Little Bear made a hole in one. My sweet Cade made at least 5. He was so proud that he won some sort of chicken sandwich coupon from a fried chicken eatery.

I attempted the batting cages and realized  how desperately out of shape I am.

On Saturday, the boys and I rented a car  ( mine is still in the shop and the insurance is covering most of my rental fees :) !! ) , and headed out west.. actually we were planning on heading somewhere in the northwest (possibly Utah) when my sister called me. We changed course right past the Texas border and headed to North Carolina.   I am still so happy that she called because I know that I would have been scratching my head in Utah wondering what on earth I was doing there by myself with two young boys.

So, we drove the 15 hour drive to North Carolina. I fell in love with the heated seats of the rental car, and we listened to the Les Miserables soundtrack at least 10 ten times.

We stopped in Atlanta for Starbucks. It is worth noting that a random stranger paid for my coffee. His kindness set something in motion, so I paid it forward and I'm hoping that the next person paid it forward and a good portion of the city of Atlanta got free coffee for the day.
I started thinking about how kindness and love are the one language that we can all understand regardless of whatever religion we practice or rituals we feel we must heed.  I started thinking about how the aim of the darkness is to take away the joy that kindness brings. I thought about how it all too often succeeds in doing just that and how beautiful the world would be if we all truly understood that in Christ there is power of darkness. I thought about how kindness inspires others to think about God, even if for a brief moment. It's like people see something Higher, Something Bigger, and Something Beautiful in small and simple acts of love.

We arrived at my sisters house on Sunday afternoon. On Monday we ventured out to try a restaurant called The Pelican. It was one of those restauraunts from the televison show, Diners, Drive Ins, and Dives. I have always wanted to eat at one of the places featured on the show. On Monday, my dream turned reality as I bit into one of the most amazing bleu cheese burgers that I have ever tasted.
Apparently, the restaurant  was also featured on the show, Man Versus Food. Cade, a major foodie, felt that his life would'nt be complete without ordering a burger that boasted of an entire pound of meat. Even  though I am no fan of gluttony, I obliged him and secretly laughed as he made a feeble attempt to eat a burger half the size of his head. I wanted to say, "you only live once"... but, I don't believe that. Anyone, who reads my blog knows that I know that life doesn't end when we die and life is not measured in experience but is a measure of all that we can be for and in Christ Jesus.

But I have found that it is good to live life as if today will be our last, and if that meant indulging Cade with a massive hunk of meat to make him happy, then so be it. Guilty as charged.

On Tuesday, we boarded the youngsters in my sister's minivan and headed north to the Appalachian Mountains. We rode on the Blue Ridge Parkway for a few miles, but it was closed. Toward the middle of the afternoon, we rode to a place that boasted of a waterfall. In order to get to the waterfall, however, we would have to trek a mile and half...one way..then, we would have to walk back. For some reason, my sister thought this was a good idea even though the sign said the trail was "Strenuous"

So, even though I was hesitant, we set out toward the falls. Keep in mind that we had no cell phone, dusk was less than two hours away, and we were toting a total of five children and one on the way..(oops, Sarah, I hope you aren't mad at me :)
Anyway, by the time we made it to falls, I was trying to supress my anger at my lovely sis. I quickly came to realize how grossly out of shape I really am and began to rue every burger and fries that I had eaten in the past month and a half.   The way back up was even worse. Little Bren needed to be carried for part of the way back and it was an uphill climb. I kept finding myself needing to stop and rest every five minutes and realized that the meaning of the word, "strenous" really means that thirty somethings who haven't worked out in the last decade are going to get really winded, as no one else was having any problems making the climb back to the car.

Anyhow, we made it, and a few days later, I was actually glad that I let my sister talk me into the hike. It reminded me of my need to at least attempt to live a healthier lifestyle.

So, as you can see, these past few weeks have been very, very full. I started my own YouTube Channel, but I haven't posted to facebook as of yet. I also got approved to be a blogger for Gospel for Asia. :)

I watched the movie, Into the Wild and fell in love with true life story of Christopher McCanless. He was a young man who had been deeply affected by the materialism and rocky relationship of his parents.  He graduated college, but realized that his goal was not the pursuit of wealth, but the pursuit of Truth. So, abandoned his car and gave away his entire life savings to charity. He found beauty in nature, lived the life of a vagabond, and made many friends along the way. At the end of his life, he found forgiveness for his family and gave God the credit for his happy life. 
I don't want this to be one of those neverending blogs, but I would like to share what I learned while watching this movie.. I'm actually working on a separate blog post dedicated solely to talking about the movie.

As I watched, I couldn't help but contrast Chris' life to what is being taught in our churches today. I found it ironic that a man with seemingly everything and the world at his fingertips, realized that truth and beauty don't lie in our things.. I saw him, essentially being content with the very few things he owned. I couldn't help but contrast the act of his generosity to the greedy doctrine of the prosperity gospel that tells us that God wants us to have more and more stuff.  I found it beautiful that Chris lived a full life and it wasn't in a way that is considered a "societal" norm. He broke the mold and simply sought out the beauty of experience..and through it all he found God.  One the last things written in his journal before he died was that happiness is only real when it is shared.

I know this is getting to be really long, but I want to share the few things that I have learned this week. Keep in mind I had a really long drive and lots of time for thinking.

1. This week I had it in mind to collect magnets from every state I visited. Something told me not to do it. God spoke to me and reminded me that life is not a collection of things. We shouldn't define ourselves by how many places we visit, nor should we define ourselves by how much money we have or the things we possess. If we are to collect anything, it should simply be ..a collection of people to love. They should come in all shapes and sizes and the more diverse they are, the greater our abilty to see through nonsense.

2. This week I started thinking about I wanted to see many different states..but, states are huge chunks of land that have borders. In Heaven, there will be no borders. So even though I didn't get to see the state of Virginia this week, it is really no big deal..

3. Always have a full battery when going to see a waterfall. I missed the perfect picture of Bear perched in front of a waterfall. But, I suppose that it doesn't really matter. It is an image that will be ingrained in my mind for the rest of my life.

4. Let the boy eat the huge burger..it may be gluttonous, but do it because you love him so much. It's ok to bend a little sometimes when it is done in the spirit of love.

5. For number five, I want to share a verse that has been on my heart lately.. "We fulfull the Law of Christ when we Bear One Another's Burden's." So often, we think we have to do cartwheels and jump through hoops, but when we take care of one another, it greatly pleases Christ. It fulfills the law, so it must be pretty important.

6. If you get the chance, pay it forward.

7. If you happen to rent a nice car and you see a button that looks like "ON*) That is the Onstar symbol, and even though that is a luxury that I will probably never have on my own, it is a wonderful tool for finding Starbucks in the middle of Mississippi.

8. Plan better. The whole time we were driving, I wished I had more time in the places I drove through. I drove through Jackson at 1 something in the morning and Atlanta at a really odd hour. I have family who live in both places. I wanted to call them up so badly but I was on a tight schedule, so next time I will plan better

9. Friends and family are priceless.

10. The other day I started thinking about the subject of marriage. I have actually heard a lot of interesting things on the subject. One is that there is no marriage in Heaven. I actually like that idea. I started thinking that it makes sense because in Heaven, we are all family. In life, wouldn't do us good to treat everyone around us like a long lost brother or sister? 

Blue Ridge Parkway in the Appalachian Mts.

Wild Turkeys along the Blue Ridge Parkway

I love tunnels

My lovely sis and Ms. Ruth playing shy

My baby's first trip to the mountains. I love his sweet face!

My niece, Jadah

Mr. Bear, pretending that he doesn't like his picture taken.

Cade's massive "man vs. food" burger!

Olivia!

Our diners, drive-ins, and dives experience..

Ice along the mountain..brrr

Could it really be snow? Yes, it's snow!

I love this boy!

 I love my Cade!

My free Starbucks, courtesy of a nice random stranger. I think he was from India.

A japanese Cherry Blossom :) Beautiful

My first trip ever to World Market

The Brisish Aisle. This brings back good memories

Goofin' off

a little nook called The Shepherd's Place in northern NC

Sleepy Bear woke up in a hotel and didn't know where he was.

¹ To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

² A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

³ A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

⁴ A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

⁵ A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

⁶ A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

⁷ A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

⁸ A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

⁹ What profit hath he that worketh in that wherein he laboureth?

¹⁰ I have seen the travail, which God hath given to the sons of men to be exercised in it.

¹¹ He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.

¹² I know that there is no good in them, but for a man to rejoice, and to do good in his life.

¹³ And also that every man should eat and drink, and enjoy the good of all his labour, it is the gift of God.

This is the season of laughter.

little warrior

I love how God changes our perspectives. Today, I was watching Brendan playing. He was swinging a shirt around his little head and jumping around.
On most days, I would've told him to pipe down. I probably would have told him to quit swinging the shirt, and then presented him with the option of time out. I would have let the entire display frazzle my nerves, and then became frustrated when he didn't listen to my rants and ravings about discipline.


Today, Jesus changed my perspective. I could hear Him whispering..Let the children, be children...Suddenly, I didn't see that I had an out of control toddler on my hands. I saw a young boy, spinning around in childlike freedom.

I saw a young boy, not violently swinging around a shirt, but a young boy displaying that one day he will be brave.

One day, the boy will be a leader, not swinging around shirt..but hopefully wielding light to cut through darkness.
Taking words of Truth to shine into dark places..being the leader that he was always created to be.

Although discipline is important, we should give children the freedom to simply be..who they were always created to be..
In little Bear's case..he is a leader. A warrior of sorts..but it is up to me  to see that, as a little warrior, he doesn't use violence, but sees the force of love as the greatest weapon of all.

I'm his mamma, and that is what I want to teach him.

Alabama Hostage Situation

right now my heart is hurting for a young child. He is being held hostage in an underground bunker somewhere in a small  town in Alabama. it's a place that I've never heard of, but has yet been put on the map by an act of hatred.

There seem to be a lot of those popping up lately..towns making names for themselves through horrific acts of violence. I would of never heard of newtown, for instance, had it not been for the devastation that captured our hearts and attention. Now, it is a name that I will never forget. Columbine. Aurora..
and the list goes on, and will continue to grow.

I see the demonic in this situation. The man who is holding the  boy is possessed by a demon. Ask me how I know. I've experienced enough of the demonic to know when it rears its ugly head. I can see the darkness when it presents itself. But I can also see the light..That is my God given ability - the ability to differentiate between the beauty and the power of God and the disgusting and relentless hatred of the darkness.

There is a realm that we don't recongize and yet, I can see it clearly for what it is. If the world, acknowledged Satan, then then the world would be forced to acknowlege things like sin and greed and corruption. But the world would also realize that there was a living and loving Savior who wants to teach us to truly live.. He wants to show us the abundant life... a life.. not measured in things, but rooted and flowing in the purest and most perfect love.

Today, I kept thinking about the parents of the child trapped in the house. I kept thinking of the bus driver who was relentlessly shot. And I think of the man responsible. He is already imprisoned and held captive by forces that he doesn't even recognize. At some point in time, he chose a path and the darkness only grew inside of him. He doesn't realize or know anything of  grace, and I can't help but wonder if anyone has ever taken the time to tell him.

In the world, we repay hatred for hatred. we keep tabs and we always vie for justice.
Today, I kept thinking of how to free this boy. I kept thinking of the law enforcement officers with their megaphones trying to get him out of there alive. I kept wondering what it was they were saying to the man, what kind of negotiations they were trying to make.

And for a split second, I just truly wished that I had the microphone for a just a moment. I would tell the man about grace and love and how Jesus wants to set him free from the demons that are affflicting him.
I would tell him my story, about how I was a horrible person that once did some pretty ugly things myself... But Jesus set me free from all of that and showed me the most brilliant and beautiful light.

I know this post won't sit well with some people. that's fine. Anything you say can't hurt me. I've been through hell enough, and all I can say is that I will pray for your freedom also.

Join me in praying for everyone involved in this situation. The victims. The perpetrator. The police with the megaphone.. that they may see when negotiations fail..there is always love.

the dangers of witchcraft