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Monday, May 21, 2012

Reasons why I both love and hate Facebook

last week something changed..... my zeal for facebook began to fade..

I think it started with all of the uproar about American Idol. As you all know, Josh Ledet is our own hometown contestant. Last week, as the contestants narrowed down to the final three, he was voted off...

I noticed patterns during the entire Amerian Idol ordeal.. First, there were the Josh fans.. This is the category that I was in... I couldn't help but feel excited that a highly talented young man from our area was on the show. I was enamored by his stage prescence and I was rooting for him to win..  The fans didn't post too much about Josh...they just gave their support ...much to the dismay of the other two groups... the haters..and the "really cool" people..

The really cool people posted things like " I don't understand what all the excitement is about."...they seemed to be subtly annoyed by the whole  thing... and they made no qualms about expressing how silly the show was and what a waste of time it was....

Then, of course, there were the all out haters... There were the Josh haters who rudely posted things mocking the fans..and then there were the hardcore Josh fans who bashed the other contestants..

On the night Josh was eliminated, I had a facebook "friend" bash Jessica, the youngest contestant. She called her the infamous "b" word and then went on to make a reference to her nationality...Please note that Jessica is only sixteen years old...

That night, will go down in my own personal history book, as the day I lost zeal for facebook. I am still reluctant to log on to my account... 

That night, as the insults continued..something changed within me..as I began to lose respect for many of my "friends"... I began to see facebook as a forum for petty opinions and disagreements.  

But before, I delve into the reasons why I am begginning to dislike facebook, I will explain why there are still things I love about it...

I love the fact that I have found family that I thought had disappeared off the face of the earth. Facebook allowed me me to connect with and have part in, ( even if it is all small part ) the lives of long lost family.
I love looking at pictures of cousins that I otherwise may have never seen.

I love the fact that on bad days...there have been friends who have left comments that encouraged me and made me smile.. 

I love the fact that if I want get in touch with someone, it is relatively easy with facebook..

I have connected with and do feel closer to people that I might not have otherwise...

Facebook has been a forum to share God with the people I know and care about. It has given me opportunities to share my blog posts and send personal messages of encouragement.

That being said,

There are also reasons why I dislike facebook and I seem to be liking it even less as the days go by...

Here is why...

1. Pettiness and stress - lately, as with the above mentioned American Idol fiasco, I have come to see facebook as a forum for pettiness.. This, in turn, causes me stress. It has caused me to lose respect for a few people and frantically looking for the option to "hide" many so-called friends, namely the haters..


2. Colossal Waste of Time - Facebook is a temptation when I'm bored. I have often been guilty of checking my page several times and hour. I know in my heart of hearts that God would want me to be a better steward of my time.


3. Feelings of Rejection - Just as facebook can create feelings of security, it can also stir up feelings of rejection.  When my grandmother died for instance, several of my friends came forth to offer their condolences, but I couldn't help but feel pangs of hurt towards the ones that didn't say anything.
Sometimes on facebook, we seemingly just become a number in a sea of "friends."
I think it often gives out a sense of false security. How many of my so called facebook friends would show up at my funeral? Probably a handful... If I were to recreate a facebook page on the day of my death..it would probably look like this... a few friends would post something like... R.I.P Rachelle.. it would be copied several times over..with a few likes here and there....I'm sure a hater would emerge somewhere in the mix and have something negative to say about the whole ordeal..and half of the people spreading the news ...wouldn't even bother showing up....

I've sent out friend requests that have been rejected and a small part of me, can't help but feel a little hurt from the person doing the rejecting...

I have also begun to wonder why people that I thought were my friends..never like or comment on my status..this leads to more stress and wondering..... once again, a colossal waste of time..


4. I often question my own motivation, at times...
Why am I on facebook? Sometimes, I genuinely get on facebook to see what others are doing..I log on to look at pictures and to leave people good, positive feedback... Sometimes, I come up with witty or thoughtful status updates.. sometimes, I post pictures of vacations and places I've been...I often wonder if there isn't a part of me that is bragging about something... I realize that there are people in the world going through hard  times...I feel for these people... I don't want to come across as a braggart with a perfect, contrived facebook story.
I aim to be real..and sometimes I wonder how real I actually am on facebook.. I post about my great days, but  rarely do I post my struggles.
we all, on some level, want others to think the best of us... we all want to be "liked" but are we selling out to some degree by not being true to ourself? 


5. Facebook is no subsitute for real relationships.. There are sevaral people that I feel closer to since I have joined facebook.  The only thing is.. I never even actually them... Facebook has us trapped in a  world where we are content with "liking" each other pictures and status updates...

I would rather have someone hug me after a tragedy rather than send me a thirty second message. I would rather be a part of someone's real life...share a meal with them, for instance.. rather than "liking" the fact that they are eating baked tilapia for dinner..

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our society is very fast paced...It is hurried and rushed..
We live in a chemical, fast food world..where quick, easy solutions often relpace real things of value.
While I value my facebook friends, I long for more.
Christ has filled the void in my life..but I know that he wants us to have good, real, lifelong friends...
He wants us to have real and lasting love..friends who provide real support..
not band aid friends who quickly try to patch the gaping wounds...

If any of my facebook friends are reading this... I want you to know that I love you. I too can get caught up in this fast paced...band aid, chemical, fast food sort of life...so forgive me if I haven't been there for you.

I am hoping this post will encourage us to move toward something more for ourselves. Less time on facebook..more time creating real, meaningful relationships...

Today, write a  handwritten letter to someone instead of "liking" their status..
Today, if you are going to post a status update... say what is really on your mind...let us see the real you..
Today, spend more time talking with Jesus..and less time checking your page ..out of sheer boredom...

One thing that I have found is that facebook proves that we are all human. It can bring smiles, as well as insecurities...

have you ever felt a little bummed because no one liked your status..or your pictures..?
All I can say is... "don't let it get to you. Aim to please an audience of One..and you can never go wrong.."

Well, these are my thoughts..
Where do you stand on the issue?


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