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Wednesday, May 16, 2012

I'm struggling with food!

For the past few months, I have been struggling with food. I have struggled, not only with food choices, but also with the relentless desire to eat often....quite often..

I see strength in people who eat healthy. I see a type of strength in those who sweat in the throes of excercise .. As of late, I have even come to admire those who are content with drinking only bottled water..those that forego the temptation of the sweet, high fructose corn syrup sodas...even as i type this, I'm about to walk over to the microwave, put in a bag of popcorn, and chow down...

There's nothing wrong with that..except for the fact that I'm not even hungry...
I suppose I'm just doing it simply because I can...or out of sheer boredom.

a few months ago, I found out that I have a mild thyroid issue. The numbers were slightly off...but, with medication, my levels have returned to normal..

Over the past few months, I have put on about ten to fifteen pounds... a part of me wants to blame the thyroid... But I know that I can't.. I have to blame my weight gain on the countless sodas I consumed and the fact that I have proven, time and time again, that I can eat almost an entire large pizza in one sitting...

I think my thyroid issue has played a slight trick on my mind... because ever since I expected to gain a little weight..the amount that I have eaten  has gone up...

I don't have a weight issue... .YET..  but, I can see that, if I continue on the path that I'm on.. I will have a problem on my hands very soon.

This isn't about vanity. It's about feeling healthy and yes, a slight part of me wouldn't mind getting  back into a smaller pair of jeans...

The part that bothers me that I feel weak. I feel as if I am giving in to temptation more and more.
A very real part of me is passionate about food... and that part often seems to win... in this struggle.

Today, I told myself that I was going to eat healthier.  At the first sign of hunger, I pulled into the Wendy's drive thru and gorged on a double stacker and fries... and, of course, an oversized coke to wash it down.

I was depressed for a short while because I couldn't help but feel as if I had failed at something.

I've learned that Jesus loves us no matter.. He accepts us no matter what size or shape we are..
but I often feel that it is better to err ...well, to succeed would be a better word, on the side of self control...

The other day I fasted for a day.  I did the Daniel fast. I was going thru something quite horrible and fasting and prayer has always helped me in significant ways.

The Daniel fast is not an easy fast.. no sugars, no meats, no drinks other than water.. it involves fruits and vegetables..something quite foreign to my diet..
Let's put it this way... It was a very very long day...

I found myself getting grumpy...looking at the clock... I found myself half tempted to bite someone's head off... I had to take a pill at the first pangs of a migrane..
and all because I chose to eat healthy for a day?  

I began to think about how food serves a purpose to keep us alive, and then began to wonder, in my state of grouch, if I wasn't idolizing food in some way..
I thought about and lamented over people that were genuinely hungry. I began to be thankful for food..good food.. I began to be thankful that I know the taste of a buttery chocolate croissant, whereas people in parts of Africa have probably never even tasted a delicacy..

It made me sad... It also made me sad that eating healthy and giving up sweets for a day was an actual challenge..

But I was also sad that I often feel like I need those delicacies.
I don't..

they are nice and wonderful, and I am grateful, but I want to come to a place where I am content eating good, healthy foods.. foods that God made..foods that grow out of the ground without all of the cancer causing chemicals and dyes and toxins..and names that I can hardly pronounce..

I'm sad because of the exorbitant cancer rates. I am sickened when I think of all of the family and friends that I have lost to cancer. Science proves that eating healthier can and does often prevent cancer... so why are we still doing and eating the same things? why hasn't our behavior changed to reflect this information?

It's because it's hard.  Eating good, fattening, unhealthy food is tempting..and it tastes good...
It's "easy path" food..

wide path food..

I can now identify and have a lot of compassion for people that are struggling with weight issues..
because I understand how hard it is to break a pattern..
but the good news is that it can be done.

life is about choices and consequences .. We simply have to make better choices or we will have to live with the consequences of our actions... possible disease, cancers, and an array of all sorts of other problems..

I am praying for you through the struggle. I am praying that God will give me the strength to eat healthier.
We are in this race together.. we can choose to run everyone over with hurtful words. we can throw stones of judgement. 

or we can help each other across the finish line..
so, let's put on our running shoes..
kill some flesh..
and lose a few pounds together.. ( by safe, healthy choices, of course )

I think it is important to encourage one another. God gave us one another for that lift one another help one another along.. so feel free to message me..or call..we can run this race together.


1 Corinthians 6:19-20 

Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

1 Corinthians 9:27 

But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." - John 16:33

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