For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Ephesians 6:12
I've gone through a lot of strange things in my life. If I were to detail every demonic experience that I've ever had, I could probably talk for at least every minute of an entire day. Maybe more.
However, the purpose of my blog is not to detail my "strange" experiences. No one really cares that about the brick heavy crushing spirits of darkness that sometimes settle over my body. Or the unseen hands that creep along my neck. Or even the time that I felt the cold enter the room and heard something unseen speak in a foreign language or even the fact that I spoke with a girl in the not too distant past who told me that she had experienced the exact same thing.
I could sit here all day and talk about how the demonic can physically affect the human body. I could tell you of the sharp and piercing pains in various places or I could tell you about the day I went blind for about thirty seconds. I could tell you about what hell sounds like..(because I've heard it) Or I can tell you about the vison that I had while in the prescene of a heavy darkness. I could tell of you of shaking beds and other such strange things, but I know that it may mean absolutely nothing to you.
I"m not writing this to attempt to scare anyone. That is not my purpose. Truthfully, I don't want to even write this post..AT ALL.
There are people out there who will think that I am strange and then there are those who will try to scientifically explain every single thing that I have seen, heard, and experienced.
Anyhow, the reason I am writing this is not to bring attention to the forces of darkness ( verse)
but to give credit to God for showing me things and being my helper and Deliverer during these times.
I have literally sat in awe at God for the things He has done for me through every horrible experience.
Demonic torment is in the Bible. Recall the story of the woman who went to Jesus and begged him to set her daughter free from the plaguing darkness of demonic oppression. I will post the story at the end of this blog.
IF people could truly grasp the horrors of the darkness, then perhaps many would rethink their choices, their unforgiveness, and their greed. People would literally fall upon their knees if they could understand what I have faced. But through it all, I have learned one thing. God is good.
Today, I briefly want to cover the subject of fasting and prayer. I've talked about it before. As a matter of fact, if you regularly read my blog, you have heard me talk about a lot of this subject matter already.
But, I write because I am in complete awe of God right now.
During the course of the past few weeks, I have felt and experienced the demonic in a various ways. When this happens, a lot of times, I feel led to fast and pray. I can't really explain what fasting is exactly or why it seems to work..but I know that everytime I fast and pray..God honors the act . I feel Him close to me .
There have been days when I have felt demonic oppression. I have fasted and cried out to God for help. I have had days when I have had to rely upon Him completely. But each time, He came through. There have been weeks when I have felt demonic oppression, but the very first night of fasting and prayer, I am completely free.
God honors the things that we give up for Him. He honors it when we trust Him.
Through all of these experiences, I have learned one thing. I am nothing. When you are plagued by forces that you can't understand or comprehend, then you are forced to look to God. And it has been through the searching, that I have seen just how great and wonderful and powerful He is.
So many will never acknowlege the spirit world. Maybe some people don't have to. Maybe some people are just blessed and able to love without understanding the dynamics and the workings of the unseen. I love how many people can believe in something without ever having the experience. But everything that I have seen and experienced in my life points in one direction, and that direction points me toward God. He is real and He is good. Demons are real. They are horrific. It sounds simple, and yet to fully grasp the fact that we live in a world of the unseen is really a big deal. It changes life as we know it.
There are days when I feel like an anomoly. But I have come across so many others who have gone through the same things who recognize the darkness for what it is.. I am grateful that these experiences have taught me humility. I recognize that I am nothing in light of Jesus. Today, I kept thinking about how we carve out names for ourselves. I thought that I simply want to be a reflection of Jesus. Even George Muller wasn't known for great acts. He simply let Christ shine through his life. He had a story that didn't reveal himself, but rather a story that told of God's provision and great love.
I am grateful for those who speak Jesus to me. I am grateful for His hand that lovingly leads us out of torment and into beauty.
I am glad for the Power of His Name.
There is an experience that I had a few years ago. I think I shared it on my blog, but it is only fitting that I share it again.
I was experiencing a heavy amount of demonic torment. So, I fasted and prayed that God would deliver me. A few days later, during my fast..Jesus showed me something. My little boy was acting very unruly. He wouldn't listen to a single word that I said. He was being defiant. Jesus showed me that the demonic will try to run us over and wear us down, but we must stand our ground. As my tot was running around in a state of chaos, I knew that I had to take authority. Christ showed me that it is the same with the darkness. As Christians, we have authority over the darkness. We can speak His name and tell the evil spirits to leave. If we are persistant and don't give up, they will realize that they are unable to trample us.
That night, I had a horrible dream that didn't even seem like a dream. I felt as if something was holding me down. I couldn't move, nor could I speak. But.. in the dream, I was not afraid. I stood my ground. I spoke the name of Jesus..There was darkness all around me, but where His name was spoken, there was a light that they could not touch. It was as if they had to part from my lips at the mention of His name. There was a crippling heaviness. It took all of my will to crawl to my knees. When I finally crawled to my knees, I began to laugh because I knew that "no weapon formed against me would prosper." I knew that the Power of Christ was far greater. I have come to love the verse, "For He has not given us a spirit of fear, but of Power, of Love, and of a sound mind." When I woke up, I felt a very pervasive and heavy darkness in my room. I literally felt it approach me. It could sense that I was fearless. I told it to leave and I felt this evil leave my room. There is a verse in the Bible that states, "For He has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, of love, and of a sound mind." So many times in my life I have walked in depression and fear. I have listened to the lies of the darkness. I have heard their threats, but, when we give our lives unto Jesus, His voice can drown out the darkness when we will turn our ears toward Him. He is our Deliverer and where the enemy will only steak, kill, and destroy, He comes that we might have life and have it to the full.
The other day, I was watching television and I came across a show that held my interest. It was on a Christian television channel. Keep in mind I don't promote Christian television. (There are too many trying to sell the gospel and distorting the name of Christ in doing so) But...on this particular day, I was flipping and something caught my attention. It was a show about people who have experienced death. Some gave details of Heaven and one man gave his testimony of his life involved in witchcraft. He began to tell of the demonic torment that he endured for a few months, even after he became a Christian. Keep in mind, I know that I try not to put to much faith in other people's experience. Truthfully, I have learned that, as humans we place too much emphasis on "the experience" of Chrisitianity and ignore the needs of those around us.. forgetting that when we care for "the least of these" we are caring for Christ himself.. ( at least that is my understanding, please tell me if I am wrong)
anyhow, as I listened to this man's experience, I was captivated because I had experienced so many similiar things. He spoke of the feeling of being held down in his sleep, unable to speak, unable to move. He spoke of his bed physially shaking as something dark entered his room.
One thing that he spoke about was a dream that he had. He dreamt that he was on a train and taken to hell. He said that the dream was unlike any other that he had ever had. He felt the demonic grasping and wanting to take his very life. But, he said, as the vultures gathered, he saw a Cross appear. And He knew that Christ was with him. He saw the power of the Cross could lead him out of the darkness. The man awoke and asked Jesus why he was experiencing such horrific things. The man said that Jesus spoke to him and said, "I allowed this simply because I wanted to know that you love me. I wanted to see if you would trust me." The man said that soon after the tormenting spirits stopped.
Another story that the man told is worth noting. The man grew up in an atmosphere rife with witchcraft. He said that his spirit would often leave his body at night in order to do harm and cast spells upon others. He said that he would see people praying for their neighborhoods on street corners and he wouldn't be able to touch those places. Now, I know this man's story sounds strange. I can't say that I relate to any sort of "out of body experience" but I will say, that I have experienced things that reason will never be able to touch. Through it , I have learned the power of God.
I remember when I first came to Christ I was still experiencing a lot of demonic torment. One Sunday I went to church. My pastor said that he had a great message prepared, but right before the service, Jesus told him to preach on the subject of discipleship. He said that he really didn't want to preach on that subject, but he felt that it was important and it was something that someone needed to hear. As he began to preach, I knew that he was speaking to me. He gave the message, "many are called, but few are chosen." I claimed those words as my own. That night, the demonic torment began. I could sense the such a pervasive evil that I began to have visions of hell. I saw a man writing in torment and skin falling off his face as his face contorted. I heard the screams of a multitude of people. I remembered the message of my pastor, and I knew that the Bible was true. I knew that I had been called unto discipleship and with that, came authority over the darkness. So, for the first time in my entire life of demonic deception, depression, torment, and bodily oppression, I told the enemy to leave. I said it with of voice of someone who was sick of evil. I said it with the voice of someone disgusted with years of wasted life. I said it with the voice angry at all of the voices that I heard in torment, at the vison of immense pain and suffering.
At that moment, when I took authority, the darkness left my room. I have struggled much since then, but I find that fasting and prayer help me often. Finding a voice helps me.. Fighting, and at times, letting God fight for me.
If you are facing demonic torment, do not give up! Never quit. Know who you are in Christ. Seek Him diligently. He will help you. Keep fighting. Fast and pray. Christ will lead you into victory if you only Trust Him.
One night Jesus showed me something about Deliverance. My three year old son dropped his toy soldier in the bathtub water. Immediately, he tried to grab him because it was if he was afraid that the soldier might drown.. I could see his fear and concern, so I reached my hand into the bath water and picked up the soldier. God spoke to me right then very plainly. He said, "Rachelle, deliverance from evil is me, picking up the drowning soldier, and giving him his life back."
There have been times through all of my torment that I have used religious relics. I hope this next part doesn't offend anyone, but I have tried holy water to ward of the demonic. It didn't work. I was told by a religious man, who had experience in this realm, that if I ignore the devil that he will simply go away. For many years I did just that. And the torment stopped, but it is only because my life was in the clutches of the enemy.
The Bible does not tell us to ignore the darkness. The Bible tells us to put on our armour and fight. It tells us that we are in a race and that we have to endure if we want to make it the finish line.
I plan on making it to the finish line. That is why I write, even though there will be scores of people who shout that I am crazy. Or insane. I write even though I may offend someone. If I offend, it is not out of a spirit of hatred but out of a spirit of love.
Back to religious relics. The one thing that the enemy fears is the Cross. Not the wooden symbol of a place where Jesus died. The enemy fears a life that begins to look like Jesus. The enemy fears the spirit of Christ that lives and dwells inside someone, because, in that, there is an a power. There is understanding. There is wisdom, and there is a beautiful, unexplainable love for people that you may never even met. Or never even seen. There is concern for those around you. Such is the Spirit of Jesus, and that is what the enemy fears the most.
During these times Jesus has given me many dreams. Once he appeared to me in a dream and simply hugged me. His face was glowing and his arms were gentle and strong.
another time, Jesus asked me to give away some of my possessions. So I did. That night, I had a dream that Jesus was standing next to a glowing ball of light. It was white and gold and it burned like a beatufiul fire. He was standing in a place that seemed to go on forever and he was pointing at the light, as if to show it to me.
I remember feeling an immense peace and joy in the prescence of that perfect light.
The next day, I asked Jesus what the dream meant. He said that, as Christians, each of us has that light within us, and it is OUR DUTY to share it with others.
That day I was reading the Bible and I came across the verse, "For God is a Light and, In Him, there is no darkness at all."
I also think of the verse that says that we should never hide our light under a bushel, but shine it for the world to see. The one purpose of the enemy is to drown out the light and shroud the world in darkness. But we have a choice to either let it shine or be defeated.
And behold, a Canaanite woman from that region came out and was crying, “Have mercy on me, O Lord, Son of David; my daughter is severely oppressed by a demon.”But he did not answer her a word. And his disciples came and begged him, saying, “Send her away, for she is crying out after us.”But He answered and said, "I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel."
But she came and knelt before him, saying, “Lord, help me.” And he answered, “It is not right to take the children’s bread and throw it to the dogs.” She said, “Yes, Lord, yet even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters’ table.” Then Jesus answered her, “O woman, great is your faith! Be it done for you as you desire.” And her daughter was healed instantly.
And he appointed twelve (whom he also named apostles) so that they might be with him and he might send them out to preach and have authority to cast out demons. ( Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever. If he called disciples then, he still does the same thing today. Is HE calling you toward discipleship?