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Wednesday, February 27, 2013

for when you start to unravel

Yesterday took a turn for the worst. Truthfully, I had been having a good day, but then, some "unexpected developments" truly caused me to unravel.
Do you know what I learned through all of this..? When circumstances around us unravel, we are faced with a true test of our character.
When things are fine and smooth, it is easy to be kind, BUT, when things go south, it's hard.
Yesterday, I fought back some things that have been bothering me for weeks. I cried. I tried not to let my emotions get the best of me. I let a few things slip out of mouth that should'nt have.

The truth is that I am a very sensitive person, and sometimes I expect the people around me to be kind. I really don't ask for much. At least I don't think I do..
Anyhow, yesterday, after the wheels were set in motion by a particular event, my mind kept reeling and replaying all of the negative and hurtful things that someone said to me over the course of the past few weeks.

The other day it was brought to my attention that this someone called my three year old an "idiot." I'm sure it was a "joke" and "harmless" Truthfully, I wasn't even supposed to know that these words were spoken..but, as it turns out, they were.
All I can say is that I am hurt. I will never understand why people vie for unkindness when eternity stares them in the face.
I started thinking about how it can take years and years to build relationships, and it is the goal of the enemy to tear them down in a single sentence. An unkind word. A haughty look.
The enemy uses us to work against one another, and when we are ugly to one another, every demon in hell cheers for the life he has hurt and the trust he has destroyed.

I remember something that my grandmother told me years ago. She and her mother had a huge fight. She was angry. I don't think they were on speaking terms. Truthfully, I guess the reason for the fight doesn't matter. some time after, her mom was riding in a car with some friends. They had passed an intersection and her mom was killed. My grandmother told me never to be angry with the people you love because you never know which day will be their last.

I agree with my grandmother, but I have to admit.. There are days when I feel as if I am always the one extending the olive branch.

Negative words, I have found, cause us to focus inward. When someone is rude, our first reaction is to nurse our wounds. and it seems that while we are tending our own hurts and bleeding hearts, our Light is misdirected.
How can we focus on Christ and on others when we are swimming in a sea of words?

I keep thinking of the verse that says that hearing the word and doing what it like building your house upon the rock. When the storm comes, the windows may rattle, the words may seek to tear down, but, if the foundation is strong, the house is unscathed. It may have a few scratches, but it emerges strong and stately.. from having won a battle with the wind.

I guess the purpose of this post is to let people know that the most beautiful promise of falling is that sometimes, it is only an illusion. Sometimes, you have merely closed your eyes from the sound of the waves, and when you open them back up, you are still in the exact same place that you were before..only this time, you have learned to look up.

I guess the best advice I can give anyone today is to simply learn to let things go..
When people are mean and angry towards  you..when they hurt you with their mouth, simply close your eyes and walk away. Say a prayer for them because, in the end, we should long to see everyone standing firmly, untouched by waves.

One more thought: One of the fruits of the Spirit is self control. If we can't control the words that we are speaking to others, perhaps that is like the engine light coming on in a car.. It is an indicator that perhaps we aren't as spiritually strong as we think. Yesterday, was a test. I need work..but I'm glad I know the Potter. Lord, make me a willing clay. Sometimes bending and breaking is the hardest thing, but something that shifts our gaze toward the Maker Himself.
Remember these words..

It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire. A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that. By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell.
7-10 This is scary: You can tame a tiger, but you can’t tame a tongue—it’s never been done. The tongue runs wild, a wanton killer. With our tongues we bless God our Father; with the same tongues we curse the very men and women he made in his image. Curses and blessings out of the same mouth!
10-12 My friends, this can’t go on. A spring doesn’t gush fresh water one day and brackish the next, does it? Apple trees don’t bear strawberries, do they? Raspberry bushes don’t bear apples, do they? You’re not going to dip into a polluted mud hole and get a cup of clear, cool water, are you?


  1. God will forgive you for losing control.........We are imperfect beings altho we should mirror Christ we still stumble and fall and He is still there to stop and pick us up and walk with us...........But yes we shouldn't hold on to bitterness.......we are to forgive but sometimes we let a day or two go by before we realize what we are doing..........

  2. This post spoke to my heart. Thank you for being transparent. I'm right there with you. Sometimes I think I need to just duck tape my mouth shut before I leave the house.