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Friday, March 1, 2013

Why I'm leaving facebook

I'm considering leaving facebook for a while. I know that I have said this once before, and I don't want to be known as the girl who cried, I am hoping that I can truly stick to my plan this time around.

I think I am disillusioned with the entire facebook experience. There is something empty and contrived about social media.

A few days ago a girl "unfriended" me. She had sent me a "friend" request a few months ago. She never once messaged me or even interacted with me. Not even once.

A few days ago, I watched a horrific video about the treatment of animals used for their fur. I wanted to spread awareness and hopefully cause at least one person to think twice in their purchases. So, I shared said video.

Within a matter of seconds, this girl, in all of her "self righteousness" is quick to tell me that she doesn't tolerate "this kind of material on her newsfeed" and then proceeds to "delete" me from her life. 
I have to admit, even though I barely know this girl, it still hurt. This girl had no interest in my personal life. She had no interest in the lovely pictures of my family. She had no desire for any sort of interaction, whatsoever. But the second I offended her, I suppose by being concerned about the treatment of animals, she was quick to just erase me out of her life, as though I don't matter.

I thought of the term "friend collector, " and how facebook can be simply a place where we just group people into one lump sum, without really thinking or caring how they feel. I guess there is something about having a lot of "friends" that makes us feel secure.

The truth is that we are all expendable. All it takes is the click of a button, and in clicking, we tell someone that they aren't worth our time.
I have made the mistake of unfriending a few people. I regretted it, after. I did it out of anger, and realized that it is too easy to hurt someone by clicking "unfriend." I was sorry afterward, but by then, it was too late, the damage was done.

I have come to realize that facebook is only a contrived way of connecting with people. We think that by "liking" a status, that we are relating to someone. We think that because someone is on our list of virtual faces, that we don't ever have to pick up a phone and say hello. We have them stored on our computer, and, for some of us, that is good enough.

Lately, I have tried to reach out to a few people. . I have tried inviting them to do things and interact in real time.. Nothing has ever materialized. Well, as I was scrolling through facebook yesterday, I saw the person I had invited to hang out on numerous occasions, publicly invited another person to spend time with them.
That's great and all, but I can't help but feel slighted and slightly hurt.. It's things like this that make me feel as if I am not good enough.
If you can't be my friend in real life, then please, remove me from your list.
I not someone to be collected. I am a human being, a real person, and I have feelings.
If I'm not good enough to laugh with over coffee, then have the dignity to press the delete button.

The entire purpose of being social is to get to know one another. To talk about things and interact in real time. To laugh with one another. To cry with one another. To bear one another's burdens. We have dumbed down the entire experience of life with social media. It's not real living.
Social media gives us the ability to be the stars in our own shows, and the number of "likes" we receive are the ratings.
The fewer the "likes" we receive..the less human and popular we feel.

Today is not a day of self pity. It is a day when I take accountability for the time that I spend trying to relate to people and constantly failing. Today, is a day when I realize that the way to truly interact with someone is to call them on the phone, hear the sound of real voice, and drink a real cup of coffee at their table..
(as opposed to a virtual cup of café world special.)

I have met some amazing people on facebook. I really do love my facebook friends and family, and that is why I should take a break from social media. I haven't given you my best. Liking your status isn't really a way of saying, "I love you."
a brief comment isn't even sufficient.
I hope that by getting off for a few weeks or months, I can free my time and mind, in such a way, that I am prompted, out of love, to drive to your house to come visit, or to pick up the phone, to hear the sound of your laughter, or the sound of your tears depending on where you are in life at the moment.

I am tired of learning that a uncle died or that an aunt is ill through social media. We have lost the ability to communicate.
The truth is that most of our "friends" won't even recognize us at a Wal-Mart, and if they do, they won't take a minute out of their busy day to walk over and say hello.. after all, they have "hundreds of other "friends" with whom they feel secure.

Facebook dumbs us down. It is a slap in the face to real friendship. It gives false security by making us believe that people are there for us, when, in reality, they are not.
And it gives us the false idea that by liking or commenting, that we are being there for someone, when, in fact, we aren't.

anyhow, I love you guys. I will still post from my blog on occasion, but that is all. (for now)

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