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Sunday, July 1, 2012

The dangers of "picking"

Hello friends,
It's late and I'm tired, but this subject has been on my mind for a good part of the day, so I'm going to attempt to gather my sanity and write.
Delirium hasn't set in quite yet, so this post may still stand half a chance..

First, of all..this post isn't meant to target anyone in particular. I think at some point, we have all been guilty of "picking" on someone.. but I believe that it can be harmful and I"ll attempt to explain why..

"Picking" is really a nice term for bullying. We call it "picking" because it a sugar coated word that really means we were harassing someone and don't want to call it what it is..

It's time to put away the euphemism..
Picking is a form of bullying.
It is mean spirited..

As a child, I was "picked on" by my peers. Of course, they never got reprimanded because they could innocently claim.. "oh, I was just kidding.."  haha...
Only I wasn't laughing.

Even as an adult, I felt picked on. I know that it was intended to be innocent, but I'll be honest.. People's jokes, joshing, kidding, picking..whatever you disguise it as...
Well, it hurt.
I was taunted because I wasn't married. I was called an "old maid." I was teased because it was taking me "too long to finish school." I was a "lifetime student."

Truthfully, It was people's way of saying... We aren't happy with you. It was negative talk, and the only thing it really did was rip my self esteem in half.

But who am I?
I used to pick too.

But I truly feel that "picking"  is not Godly.  God says our words should be as honey. God tells us to encourage on another. To build each other.  To lift up....

Pickers..often refer to the term "thick skin.."
They say.. "We are only joking..You need thick skin."
The truth is..some of us just don't have this fabled "thick skin"
Some of us are born sensitive, and the same way a leopard can't change it's spots...
I and most others are utterly and entirely unable to sprout this invisible layer of kevlar dermis...  Growing thick skin is a way of saying...Sure, bully me all you want... I am invinsible. I am Charlie Sheen. I have Adonis DNA.
We all know that thick skin and Adonis DNA don't exist.

Picking, however innocently, can have far reaching consequences.  IN last night's post, I mentioned how the kids who shot up Columbine were "picked on."
And then there are the children who kill themselves over "picking."

We recently lost a young girl in our community over bullying...I"m sure the kids who subjected this girl to mental torture went home to tell their parents..

"we were just picking"

I'm writing about this subject because I feel passionate about it.
I have a highly sensitive eleven year old boy at home. He grew up without a father. He doesn't have  "thick skin."
He's not perfect.
He needs a lot of love. A lot of encouragement. And a lot of building up..
He needs to be reminded of the things that are good about him..

I once read that we should think before we speak. One day we will be judged by every word that comes out of our mouths.  That's a lot to think about..but yet, there it is ..smack dab in the middle of the new testament.
I wonder if God will laugh right along with our taunts... "But God, I didn't know she was going to commit suicide..I was only "picking.."

The Bible says that one who causes a little one to lose faith... "it is better for him to have a millstone tied around his neck and tossed into the bottom of the ocean.."

I once lost a lot of faith in people and in God...all over picking..
and I vow to do my best not to do it again.

Let's build up, instead..

Once again, this is not targeted to anyone in particular.. just something I felt I should write about.
Love ya ..

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