It seems that every day I try to tell someone how beautiful and special they are in the eyes of God. Tonight, after I learned of infidelity in my marriage, many people told those same words to me.
Though the words were encouraging, it seemed that I was falling so fast that everything seemed hollow. Nothing seemed to matter. I guess nothing really does matter when it feels like your guts are being ripped from your very core.
Tonight, I could feel the enemy. I could hear his lies. Rachelle, you're not good enough. Rachelle, you could have done more. Rachelle, you aren't worth the truth. Rachelle, you will fall into a depression and this time you won't come out of it.
There was a point tonight when I listened to the lies in such a way that I could literally see myself helpless.
Today, I listened to the lies and I brought no heaven to this earth....
My brother in law and sister are in from North Carolina. Tonight, Eric pulled out his guitar and he began to sing. He sang an old hymn called, We've got the Power.
As he was singing, it was as if I could feel Jesus right there. I could feel this bright bright hope. As Eric was singing, I could see my grandma dancing on a distant shore. And then, I knew that everything was going to be o.k.
Tonight, I didn't bring heaven to earth, but my sister and her husband did. And so I want to thank them.
When we praise the name of Jesus we bring a little bit of Heaven to this dark earth. When we raise our voices to the most High, something bright and brilliant shines through. He is glorified and a little bit of Heaven falls back down...
This week I had it all planned out. I knew exactly what I was going to do for my 7 days in Heaven blog. But things didn't quite turn out like I expected. And from that I learned a valuable lesson.
Don't we plan out our lives..We think we know how the story will end....But the truth is that we can't control the characters in our own stories.
No matter how hard we try, we can't control what happens to us and we can't put people in a jar and make them love us.
But I am learning that though life is unpredictable, our God is firm and steadfast. He is there regardless of our circumstance. The winds may blow around us..the storm may rage...but He is still there. He never promises us that things will be easy. Contraire.... He tells us that the path is hard. He tells us the road is narrow. He bids us not to quit and lay face down in the mud when people push our faces in the dirt. He bids us to go anyway.
So tonight, I resolve to go.
To not let this affect me in such a way that I am willing to let it interfere with my walk. I will be at the finish line. I will walk the narrow path. I am an overcomer through Christ who strengthens me.