...of course, as I am getting ready to do these things..the attacks begin..severe depression, guilt, life circumstances. Everything seemed crashing down... I"m writing down the things that I know that God wants me to do. The truth is that when God has something good planned for our lives, the enemy will try to undermine those plans.
What does God have planned for your life? Write it down.
"I can do all things through Christ Jesus who gives me strength."
Today, God showed me that I have trust issues. I love God with all that I am, but how much do I trust Him?
I had to ask myself that question today.
The truth is that I have always been a very independant woman. I have supported myself and my children financially by myself. Don't get me wrong, I have amazing in laws and parents who have literally been a life saver. They are generous and gracious toward me and my children. I am grateful for gracious people, but I am simply accostomed, as a woman, to doing a lot of hard things on my own. Twelve hour shifts aren't easy for a woman who craves to be a full time mom. I've been hurt by a lot of people in my life and the truth is that I have a hard time trusting, in general.
Yesterday, I saw how my lack of trust in people and my habit of dependance on self limited my ability to trust Christ. The truth is that I love with my whole heart, mind, and soul, but how much am I trusting Him to lead me to where I need to be.? How much of my path am I trying to carve out on my own and how much of it am I placing in His hands? Those are some difficult questions and I am praying for answers. During the course of the past week, I am having to lean on Him for many of the things that I am facing.
I believe that when we do trust in Jesus, we grow in so many ways. I think of the verse ""I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." John 15:5..... a vine supports the branches. Without the vine, the branches can't subsist on thier own. They will wither and die. They have to trust in what holds them up. Who are we trusting these days?
I believe that there are so many false teachings infiltrating our churches today. Are we trusting in man because he claims to know God..because he speaks the part? Or are we trusting God? Jesus said that there would be many false teachers and that they would look like us.. They are cunning and they use the word of God and twist it around to suit their own purposes.
Do you know what I truly believe God showed me last night? For years now, we have had a bottle of something called Miracle Gel...It claims to be "supernaturally charged" ...The blurb on the back claims that it contains: prayer, the Anointing of God, and spiritual and eloptic energy beyond measure for a healing for your body...
Last night, I looked at this bottle and for the first time I saw it with different eyes. I began to see how a company tried to market Jesus. They tried to bottle Him up and put Him on a shelf for profit. They promised a miracle to people in order to sell my Jesus.
I am one to believe who believes in miracles, but I don't believe they come by paying someone money. It is exploitation and it is wrong. Miracles come when lives begin to look like Christ. They come when we see the need for repentance and we seek. They come as we grow and as He teaches and guides and leads. They come with the price of a Cross. I used to watch Christian television but I have become so disappointed in the way the Jesus is sold. And for what? Is it so that people can live filthy rich lifestyles by selling "miracles."
People will try to sell Jesus and promise all sorts of things...material abundance, wealth, miracles.. I'm not buying into it. I refuse to cheapen Jesus.
God showed me something today. I was planning on starting a business called "City on a Hill" candle and soap company. I planned on donating 50 percent of the proceeds to good works. It was going to be a Christian company, but then I started thinking.. ..wouldn't I be guilty of marketing Jesus too..even though my intentions were good..I actually said...Oh sure, people will buy from me because it is for a good cause....What was I hoping to build? an empire? based on what?
I think that using Jesus to draw in money is a mockery to who He is..But doesn't it look familiar? aren't a lot of churches doing it?
If I sell candles, I'm not going to attach the name of Christ to it and then try to save the world through my own good works... I am the vine..you are the branches..apart from Me you can do nothing, He whispers..
We are to have good works and faith..the faith that God will provide our needs and clothe us like the lilies in the field..just like He says He will... if we remain in Him... a branch that is separate will burn.
What's sad is that I never saw this before. I thought I would've been doing good..but what I was really going to do would have been harmful to the name of Christ.
I also write songs. Recently I have had several songs that I want to record. God has given me these songs. I had thought about doing the same thing...selling them and giving part of the money to good works..but then I thought..God gave me a gift..are gifts something that are meant to be sold?
Gifts should be freely given, expecting nothing in return..
I can't help but think about the three wise men bringing their gifts before Jesus celebrating His birth.
What if they had given their gifts and then later sent Mary and Joseph a bill along with a note that says, These are my gifts, now pay up? .
I believe in the loaves and fishes stories, but last night God showed me that He prospers us through sharing. The day He took the loaves and fishes..He could've fed a few, but instead He looked around and saw that everyone needed to eat...so he freely gave and there was more than enough. God provided the need.
I once read that tithes went toward helping widows and orphans..but then man came in and decided that tithes should started going towards maintaining buildings called churches and paying salaries for people in ministry.
Don't we know that the church isn't a building? It is us, the body of believers acting as Christ on earth, going out to the lost, feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, healing the sick, and casting out the demons that society says does not exist.
God still moves. I am convinced of it because I have seen it. I have lived it. My life is a testament to the fact that He is real and that He is good.
Society has in essesce done so much to kill who and what God really is.. There is hypocracy, hatred, division, and strife amongst us and many are too blind to see it for what it is...
I want to tell a story. A family member of mine went to a church when he was a teenage boy. I'm not going to name demoniations because it's irrelvant. I'm sure he was eagar and excited to learn something new about Jesus. He went with a friend. I'm sure he was lighthearted and happy...
When he sat down..there was a huge crowd of people. A religious leader stood up on a podium and said,,"Do you know what the biggest enemy of our church is?" He thought, "Hmmm, the devil..Satan..is the biggest enemy to the church today...
But do you know what the religous leader told him? He said the biggest enemy of thier demoniation was my family member's denomination.
My family member said he sat there stunned and hurt. Imagine, a teenage boy..going into church to learn about who Jesus is and then being told that he is an enemy and a threat.
Imagine how many people have been turned away from the gospel because a religious leader has an agenda?
What happened to simply trusting in Jesus? Instead, greed and hatred disguised as truth have found their way into so many of America's churches.
That is why it is up to us to seek..Seek and you shall find?
How does the verse go, "Be as quick as serpants and as innocent as doves.."
Just because something has the word Jesus and anointed slapped on it doesn't always make it so.
Last night, something very strange happened to me. I had a dream that didn't really feel like a dream. I could feel an immense darkness in the room. I tried to speak but no words would come. My head was held down on the bed and it started shaking back and forth. I dreamt that I went to the computer to write, but when I did, I began to feel immense pain in my body. It was such an excrutiating pain that words can't even describe it. It was like nothing I have ever felt..like claws were literally ripping apart my belly. In the dream, that didn't even feel like a dream, I began to speak the word, Jesus..I put my hand on my belly and said Jesus and where my hands were, the pain stopped.. I kept saying, Jesus and wherever I put my hands the pain would cease. Next to me, were children of God..They were watching. Suddenly, they began to call out to the name of Jesus and put their hands on me and the pain ceased. When I woke up, I felt sharp pains all over my body and I began to have a fear as the enemy lied to me about what he was going to do someone I care about. This morning I woke up and saw the lie for what it was.
Many people don't belive in the the demonic but I have experienced them in countless ways..
One really shouldn't have to look far to find Him in our society..
I see the work of darkness when I see hatred, division, right disgused as wrong, and wrong disguised as right, I see darkness in Death and in bodies lining the streets all in the name of religion.
I see darkness when I see people judging others without taking the time to love them and lead them in the right direction. We are all to separated and we put up dividing lines that so often were never meant to be there... We love on the people that look like we do and we ignore the rest. I see the enemy in that. I see the darkness in America's use of Christ as a business transaction.. "Having a form of godliness but failing to see the power thereof."
Where are we heading? It's no wonder we are heading for destruction as a nation. Instead of peace, we engage in political wars rife with hypocracy and name calling.. We look to government leaders to heal our land..because many of them claim to have God..but do they? What is their fruit?
Are they kind, loving ,patient, meek, humble, longsuffering? Do our political leaders look like Christ? Sadly, not enough people these days truly look like Christ.
As a nation, we dumb Him down in too many ways. We sell Him from the pulpit, we speak against other denominations instead of reaching out to them...We name call instead of helping others see the truth through love..I could go on and on and on...for days!
What if we all as a nation got down on our knees and quit looking to leaders to heal our land, and instead look to Christ to heal our lives? If our lives were all changed and glorified Christ, then wouldn't the entire world look like a new and different place?
Wouldn't the world look maybe a lit bit like God intended it to look before greed and sin and the throrns grew out of the beauty that He had planned for us?
I once had a dream that I believe God gave me.. Take note..We should use discernment when it comes to dreams..Even the enemy comes disguised as an angel of light. He tries to counterfeit God.
I dreamt that Jesus was standing next to pure white and glowing ball of light. In it there was no darkness. There was only the most overwhelming and beautiful sense of peace that I had ever known. There was joy it it..there was purity. it was something special to which nothing else compared.
That week I read the verse,
"God is a Light and in Him there is no darkness at all."
Last night I closed my eyes and I could see it.. I could see God's light and feel His peace.
In this life, I see darkness everywhere..but I also see God..
I see Him in restoration. I see Him in healing. I see Him when I see giving and humility. I see God in the sacrifices from pure hearts. I see God in life that blooms and blossoms all around. I see God when I see people living like the true Jesus..not the one we market and exploit, but the one who marched toward Calvary so that others might live..
I see God when I see others sharing and crossing the dividing lines to love the people who don't look like they do or think like they do or even believe like they do..
Love they neighbor as theyself.. ... It doesn't mean we have to agree with everyone. It means we lead by example.. It means that we portray Christ so that they will want something to do with Him..
They need to see Him.
whew..I'm done with this post folks.
GoD Bless and LOVE YOU !!
Pray for me... I am praying for you :)