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Tuesday, March 20, 2012

there have been days when I have awakened to the beast of envy..that subtle longing for a life that looks different.

Envy is a silent thief. She steals contentment and replaces it with the bitter fruit of jealousy.

I used to be envious of women who seemed to have thier lives paid for.  Women, who, through no fault of thier own, were thrust into perfect marriages..fully equipped with loving husbands, a nice home, and a "ready made" perfect life.

I used to envy women that didn't have to work. Women that could take the hubs credit card and indulge in a mani/pedi sort of day and then come home to a warm, cozy fireplace. I envied those with seemingly perfect little cookie cutter lives.

But I am forced to realize that no one's life is perfect.

The other day I read a facebook post. A girl, who has had a rather hard life, said she believed that God plays chess with our lives.  She saw herself as a pawn on the gameboard of life.

Life is like chess in many ways. Only, we often choose the way we move. We often control, with our free will, the outcome of our destiny.

I chose a life of work. I chose men, many of whom, were bad for me. Who am I to complain that my life isn't perfect? 

Today, I saw a video clip of a mother struggling to keep her son alive and I thought, "Who am I to complain about anything?"

This past year, my pastor told me that God was going to richly bless my life. Since then, my grandmother has died, I discovered infidelity in my marriage, and I have succumbed to fears over my health.
So what does it mean to be richly blessed?
I am learning that perhaps richly blessed is the humble act of adopting an attitude of gratitude.
Thanking God that I will see my grandmother again.
Thanking Him that even though my husband cheated, life goes on. I can still love, anyway.
Thanking God that He is in control of every aspect of my life, including my health.

In this game of life, I choose gratitude.
And I am richly blessed.

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