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Friday, July 8, 2011

more thoughts on divorce

now that divorce is staring me in the face, I realize that I feel kindof lost.
It feels like someone has died.

I think of the words, Faith, Hope, and Love...and I see why God Hates divorce so much.....because these three things do not live in the realm of divorce. I feel like lies have killed the hope I have for my marriage......Love? Yes, I still love...but in the midst of all the lies, it is hard to express that love when you have built an immeasurable wall. Faith....I had faith that he would change...but we all have choices....and he made the wrongs ones..over and over and over again...So yes, I have faith...but I have learned not to put my faith in man. Only in God. IN Him and Him alone do I trust.

Divorce is like a "giving in"'s like admitting defeat... feel helpless right now.

I feel like I wish things would be different, but there are gross and ugly things staring me in the face....the stark realization that the past cannot be changed ...and the realization that someone chooses to put his needs ahead of those of his family.

I can see how divorces destroy....Well, the lies are what really destroyed things. The lies, the other women on the phone..that's what killed things...Divorce is just my way of saying, "I can't take it anymore."

I wish that I had been treated better....I would say that I wish I had done things differently, but I was faithful. I was loving even when my husband was not. I was bitter and angry for a while, but then again, who wouldn't be given the circumstances?

I'm sad...just sad...but I'll make it...

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