Tomorrow night my husband and I are going to see the movie, Courageous.
This is a miracle.
I have been separated for over a year. Throughout this year, I have struggled in so many ways. I have struggled and waltzed back and forth between anger and forgiveness. Anger and forgiveness.
But though this whole entire process, Jesus has revealed His very nature to me.
He has pushed me to forgive, even when it was easier not to.
He has led me into places of love that I never thought possible.
He has given me a genuine concern for the very person that has hurt me the most.
There are still days of struggle. There are days when I tell God I want to be done with everything related to this situation.
But He instills a new love in me, each time I ask Him for the strength to move forward.
Lately, He has whispered something in my ear. "Build him up."
But Lord, he hurt me. He has hurt me in so many ways.
Build him up, anyway.
Jesus showed me that while I don't have to put up with certain behavior, I can still walk in unconditional love.
He is teaching me to build up when it would be easier and convenient to tear down.
We can use our past hurts as excuses to cut into the hearts and souls of people, or we can walk in His unconditional love and build them up anyway.
Jesus showed me something very valuable. Each person is so unique and beautiful. Sometimes the ones that hurt us are the ones that need to be built up the most.
But it is hard. There are days when I am tempted to lash out in anger...but He bids me to reach out in love. That confounds the enemy. There is a darkness that longs to see every marriage destroyed. There is a darkness that longs to see children grow up without the love of a mother or a father. There is a darkness that longs to create divisions. There is a darkness that breeds and feeds on hatred. By acting out in the unconditional love of Christ, the enemy is confounded.
Darkness cannot live inside the light of love. It will smother. It will die. Love suffocates the darkness. While darkness is the cord that chokes, love is the thread that pulls things together.
He showed me that no matter what a person appears to be on the outside, there is something inside them waiting for a great unconditional love.
My husband doesn't know Jesus. But I think he is beginning to see Jesus in me. and that, my friends, is a beautiful thing.
The other day we were talking. We are becoming closer friends. He told me that I was his hero.
He told me that he was proud of me. He sees me doing what I can to help various people.
Things aren't perfect. But God's love is...His love has the power to thread together every broken cord in relationships where two people are willing to let that light stitch things together.
It takes two. But sometimes it has to start with one. All it takes is one person of great faith and great love to build up what what was once broken.
On the days I have wanted to give up...I asked Jesus, Why,why won't you just let me give up?
But Jesus subtly reminded me that He never gives up. He never quits. He is there waiting for us with unconditional love.
His love is patient. It is kind. It hopes and endures all things.
He is the power behind the force that threads things together. He hears our prayers and is faithful to answer us.
I know that Jesus has a true love for all those that have experienced divorce. But I see that it is so easy to just quit. Too easy, almost. Above all, He wants peace.
I ordered the book, The Love Dare and I am going to try it out. I am going to keep this in God's hands and build up even when it is difficult.
Please pray for me during this process.
While some people have given up on my husband, through all of this, Jesus has shown me that He doesn't give up on anybody.
It's so easy to slander or lash out the people that have caused us grief. Don't we often think and act as if our grief gives a license to say whatever we want?
After all, it is fact, isn't it?
But Jesus showed me that sometimes situations or people are never truly what they seem to be. ...rather, they are who or what they have the potential of becoming. He wants us to see others as He sees them..and then let our words reflect that truth.
God's love has the abiltiy to transform. Even at this very moment, His hand is at work changing me into someone that looks more like Himself. Sometimes, we are simply to build up and believe that God's love will transform.
It's easy to talk about people. It's easy to spew the poison of hatred into others lives. But we are Christians. We aren't called to look like everyone else. We called to be different. We live humbly now, building up, so that one day, we can walk in the Kingdom of God.
Only in loving the unloveable, do we ever truly learn to love.
Christ loved us even when we were unloveable.
"A wise woman builds her house, while the foolish woman tears it down with her own hands" Proverbs 14:1