The other day Jesus was dealing with me about something.
I know that He has forgiven me of my sins. All of them. All of the ugliness has been washed clean.
Lately, I've been pondering over the details of my story, those intimate details of my life.
I've shared bits and pieces...thrown out little tidbits as food for fish, but there is more. There is so much more. So many more truths that Jesus is waiting to reveal through my story.
But it is hard to lay yourself bare. It is hard to stand in front of an invisible crowd and watch as people gather thier stones. I am forced to wonder if there are vultures out there....waiting to tear me to pieces for what I have done. Waiting to spread rumors.... or lies...or make assumptions...
I know that Jesus has forgiven me. It's the people that I worry about. Some who may call themselves Christian but still cast the stones of judgement.
But I am wondering about confession of sin... It is an instruction in the Bible. It say, "Confess your sins to one another." James 5:16
What does this mean? I know that various religions may have different practices and interpretations. I am hoping that for my own life, my confessions, for the whole world wide web to see, could be used to set an example. Because I know that if one person, even one, could be touched by my admissions, if they could see what I have done and understand what I have been through, and came to accept Jesus....then the hard task of "putting it all out there" would have been worth it.
By confessing, do we open ourselves up in very great ways to reach out to those who are trodding along the dark paths that we once traveled? Would the strength of our confessions give them the courage to get out from under thier cloud and reach for that Light?
Would our confessions speak to the ones around us who cast judgement on others. Would it open them up to avenues of compssion and understanding?
But it's hard....o' so hard...I think that this must be why they call this the "narrow path." Because it requires a continual giving. A sacrifice. A doing of not always what we want but what we know will be for a greater good.
My Greater Good is Jesus.
A very strange thing happened. As I was pondering this confession of sins and the stones that would inevitably fly....my aunt sent me a text...I rarely get texts from my aunt....but here is what the text said:
You can't be blessed unless you pass the test of people talking negatively about you and then overcoming with your positive attitude....Steve Munsey
That night I also had a dream....all I could see is that it was in relation to confession of sins....I saw this very real light of peace. It was warm. It was glowing. It is the light that sometimes accompanies my dreams. It is as if Jesus is there. Right there. There is a surreal, very supernatural peace that accompanies this light. O' I wish everyone could experience this Light.
So I am praying and believing that I will have the courage to confess my sins so that others can learn how to overcome. So that others can see that the narrow path can be achieved because, although the road can be difficult, it leads to beautiful places. Such Beautiful Places.
So gather up your stones...I will tell my story soon.
I look back on the past....I look at some of the things I've done..and I think, "did I really do that?" Me? How did I get to that low point? But I can see how, through certain situations, people often act out in ways that they normally wouldn't.
I see how, in desperate times of emptiness, lonliness, and despair,,,, we lose sight. Sometimes, although never justified, we act on all those negative emotions becasue we have reached the bottomless pit of hopelessness.
I think that is one reason I have such a compassion for others. First, because of Jesus. Because His love is a divine love. Second, because I see so many hurting people that act out in ways that they probably wouldn't have....people that have been beat down by abuse. Bullying. We always see the criminal. We never take time to see the person. We read stories in the news. We cast stones.
Ok...enough of my tangent....