This morning I had a moment to write and for the first time in a very long time...I didn't feel like writing.
It was a little disturbing. Lately, it seems as if I write by feelings and by faith. I abandoned the post I was writing. I said a prayer in the car and I realized that my entire life has been lived by "feelings"...
I have always been one to be led by my emotions. My emotions have often defied all reason..and my emotions have led me into some very dark places.
My emotions have often led me into situations in which I felt "trapped." My emotions have led me into some very unstable relationships.
Today, I choose to write by faith..not by feeling.
I have several things that I would like to write about...Today I want to detail something that happened ten years ago. Patiently read, the bottom line is quite miraculous.
I guess it is no secret that I have had numerous supernatural experiences...I've seen miraculous things that God has done, and I have seen and experienced firsthand, the unseen realm of darkness that aims to destroy lives...the darkness that aims to tear apart...but often leads us onto paths that "feel right."
Ten years ago I recently gave birth to a baby boy. I was engaged to a man and we had our own little apartment in Baton Rouge....
There were some things going on in our apartment. My fiance was not a Christian and began to do some very very dark things. I'm not going to detail this time of my life. It's not my story to tell. I knew I should've left, but for a while I felt "trapped."
One day my fiance found me crying in a room by myself. Crying. I spent so many of those days in tears....realizing that life and beauty were waiting...but it seemed that, back then, good things were hidden from me.
It seemed that the good things of life weren't for me....
So I spent so much time crying.
I wanted that "rightness" to my life...but I wanted our life to be "right" as a family. I wanted to get married. I wanted us to serve Jesus...and have the promises of God.
Instead, there was a immense darkness.
I was in a very sinful situation.
In addition, there was a physical, tangible supernatural dark presence that dwelled among us.
I would so love to outline what I saw and experienced, but I wonder how many people would think I was crazy.
I suppose it doesn't matter what people think. I only hope that, by now, anyone who reads my blogs, will know that I hate lies, ABHOR LIES!, with a passion.
I have seen how lies destroy. I have seen how lies kill goodness in others. I see how lies affected my own life, and I have committed myself against them.
There were moving shadows in my apartment. Even my aunt can attest to this. There were things that moved. There were demonic forces.
I cringe remembering those days.
I begged my fiance to turn his life around. I begged and pleaded with tears and spoke of how I wanted that "rightness" for my life. I needed Jesus then...but I felt so trapped. I cried to Him and reached out to Him...but I didn't realize, at the time, that I could leave the situation.
I wanted things to work...for the sake of my son...I thought we would be married. I thought things could be "right."
But we can never change anyone. Only God can.
One night we were all three drifting off to sleep. My baby was nestled in the middle of the bed.
Suddenly, I "knew" that I had to move him. Something told me, "move him, NOW!" I felt a sense of urgency and I moved my baby to the other side of the bed.
As soon as I moved him, my fiance's hand came crashing down, full force where my baby's head was positioned only seconds before. I don't know if my fiance was asleep and inadvertantly swung his arm....or if it was something done on purpose...All I know is that
Jesus saved my newborn's life that night. I don't know what impact a swinging fist would have on a new born's fragile skull, but I truly believe that Jesus saved my baby that night.
He gave me a warning. A "knowing"....
When we seek Him, He will answer us..He will show us things. He is still the God of miracles. He is still the God of Love.
Thank you, Jesus for saving my boy that night...
Yesterday, I was at the park with my boys, my niece, nephew, and sister in law, Melonie.
I was speaking with Melonie and I learned some of her story. I have known Mel for years and I never knew her story...
She told me things that amazed me! She told me things that God had shown her...she told me of her own "knowing".....I was astounded! God doesn't limit himself to revealing Himself to certain people. He is there for each of us. All we have to do is seek.
Mel shared with me a very interesting story about her sister. Mel said that one day she was reading a book and suddenly she "knew" that she had to pray for her sister. She spoke of the sense of urgency. She "knew" that it could mean life or death.
Mel then told how she tried calling her sis and couldn't get an answer. She called her mom, instead.
When Mel's mom answered the phone, she was in tears. Mel's sister had gotten in an accident with an 18 wheeler. Mel's mom relayed how she should have been dead, but was alive as if by a miracle!
A few days ago, I felt a need to pray..I'm not sure who I was praying for, but I felt as if something bad was going to happen.
That night, my cousin Coty got into an accident. He and a friend had to be cut out of the truck Coty was driving. They did not have a seat belt.
They are miraculously both doing much better than expected. By all reason, they should be dead...But Jesus heard my prayers...they are alive!
Thank you, Jesus!
You are amazing....
I know that God has a plan and a purpose for Mels sister...for my cousin Coty..and for Coty's friend...Thier life was spared for a reason.